Thursday

Poised (My Embarrassing Moments Revealed)

I have a problem.

I don't know quite how to say this.

But it seems to me a post-baby problem. Go ahead. Take a guess at it.

The first time it happened, I thought maybe it was a fluke. I was out running and I was approaching the second mile when -- uh oh!

I sprung a leak.

But I wasn't sure if I had. It seemed like I was just a little more sweaty than usual, but I wasn't sure. So I stopped to check and nope. Not sweat.

I had to return to my home quarters. I was wearing light blue pants and my Problem was obvious to onlookers. And I thought to myself, self: you shouldn't have had all that water beforehand.

Then, I went out for a run the following week without having had any water beforehand and egad!

It happened again only this time I was on a trail and there was no returning to home base. I was stuck. So I kept on running hoping no one would notice. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to run like that???

And there was that time I ran a 5k (last month). And I had almost made it through squeaky clean, except for that darned final sprint to the finish line.

So I turned to what else, but Google, to help me find an answer. And I found out that this seems to be common among the post-baby crowd. In fact, there was an entire 8 page message thread on this and it made me feel a little better.

Yes, I know what you will suggest, and I tried it (thank you though). Unfortunately wearing "a little something absorbant" doesn't work. There's chafing involved. And I just can't bring myself to buy the old-lady diapers like it has been suggested to me. At least not for another 30 years. Yes, there's pride involved.

I know, I know, how much pride can you possibly have when you've got a leaky valve?

Well, I've decided that if I'm out and about, I'll do like the marathoners do. Just shrug it off. Or pour water on myself.

And hope that a kegel or two will help me out. In the meantime -- I do have an extra pair of pants in my gym bag. Just in case. I haven't had to use them yet. Fortunately for me, having that extra pair is like overpreparing for a storm. Once you're prepared, of course, nothing happens. It'll be the minute I forget those pants that I'll be cursing myself.

So now I base the success of my run like this:

Husband: How was your run?
Me (victorious): Great! Didn't pee!
Husband: Excellent!

He's a keeper.

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6 comments:

  1. That's hilarious! I occasionally suffer from that post-child condition myself, but haven't done it while running/walking yet. Yet being the key word I'm sure.

    Thanks for sharing Christie!

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  2. He is a keeper! Hilarious story. :)

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  3. Why don't they tell you stuff like this before you have kids??! OK, maybe it wouldn't have made a difference!

    Just so you know, there are lots of us who can empathize . . .

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  4. Hahahaha, great post. I bet this really is super common, and your man is a good man.

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  5. That one made me smile :) Yes, I know it well friend, it does get better, give it a year or two!
    Happy firework day to you..you are already watching them right now, even though it is only mid afternoon here in paradise! Will you please read Pretty Little Fat by Jen Lancaster? If you love it, which I know you will, we truly are seperated at birth...
    :)
    Cheers!

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  6. Definitley can relate to your post! I too suffer from this problem although is happens more frequently when I laugh or especially sneeze! Ugh - what we women have to go through!

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