Don't mind me.
I'm here. Kind of.
See because what's been happening is that I get all these ideas for posts and even write them down on here or in my trusty pink notebook or the back of whatever receipt is nearest to me and then I get my kids off to bed, grab my coffee, sit down to write, and then play the game called, "Go back to bed. It's still naptime."
It goes like this:
"Goodnight, I love you!"
(A very happy and comforting silence and me going to sit down and opening laptop.)
(Followed by sound of door opening.)
"What's wrong? It's naptime."
"No! I have to poop!"
"OK, poop, then go back to bed."
"No! Take my shirt off!"
(take shirt off.)
"Close the door!"
"Can we say 'please'?"
"Peez, close the door!"
(Faint sound of singing coming from the bathroom followed by flushing and the 10 minute ritual of using too much soap and water for hand-washing.)
"I'm done! I'm done!" (three-year-old prancing around naked and proud, with some galloping.)
"OK, great job!! Now put your nakey butt back in your undies, sillyman, and go back to bed."
(the process of reclothing child taking forever.)
"OK, goodnight! No more getting out of bed! I love you." (kiss.)
(Sit down, open laptop. Actually thinking my window of peace is opening.)
"Can I have water?"
"OK, you can have a sip of water then back to bed."
(Longest drink of water ever.)
"OK, goodnight sweetie, this time it's really naptime. Stay in your bed. Do you understand?"
"OK, goodnight." (I say a lot of "OKs")
(Sit down, put laptop on lap, take sip of coffee)
"What are you scared of?"
"My room! There are noises!"
"Noises can't hurt you. They're just noises. They go away quickly."
"Are they mad?"
"No. Noises don't have feelings. They're just noises."
"Good night, honey. I'm right out there in the other room. I talked to Santa and he said you have the coolest room in the world and that there's nothing to be afraid of."
"Is he here?"
"No, not yet."
"How does he know?"
(Why did I say that.)
"Word gets around. Anyway, goodnight!"
(Sitting down, laptop on lap again, commencing routine of web browsing and readings before delving into creative pool of writery.)
(Great. The other one's up now.)
"He's too loud, Mommy!"
"Is my nap done?"
Yep. I guess so.
So much for writing.
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Don't mind me.