What are you trying to do to me?
Please, I'm begging you, please stop selling your ice cream in my local grocery story on Buy One Get One. I can't take it anymore!
Your name probably isn't even Ben. Or Jerry for that matter!
For all I know, you're probably another average mom triathlete in the 35-39 age group whose real name is Geri, and you just want to pass me this weekend. You are a midpacker like me and you hope to inch your way up that list. Your "sale" is a conspiracy.
Well you can forget it! I'm going to pass your ass on the bike! And then I'll show you. Just because I had a half a pint of your darned Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream last night, doesn't mean anything!
That's all. See you this weekend, GERI.
Lovingly,
Christie O.
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