The Seal Story

I had a great time in high school, for the most part. I wasn't in the hugely popular click, although I was friends with popular kids.

I was in the band, but I also played sports and was class officer.

My geek side was offset by my non-geek side. I was even keel. Right down the middle. Friends with both sides of the crowd. I was quiet, but when I was comfortable with who I was with, I was a loudmouth. I pretty much haven't changed. I'm still a geek but not.

So when someone put up a link to our high school and all my old high school buddies started hopping on and leaving everyone messages, it was a lot of fun. It was like an online high school reunion and I was obsessed at first with everyone who got on. I would rush to open my computer thinking, "did this person join? did that person join? did that person write me back?"

Old crushes, a boyfriend who broke my heart, old girlfriends, friends, old laughs, memories of sleepovers, dances, and sneaking out, all of it there right in my face again, because you know, people are a lot more open online than they are in person. And it's all so cute and cuddly and warm. Until the not-so-great memories surface too.

Like in one little chatroom where a bunch of us took the same classes, and I'm reading everyone's comments thinking, "Oh God, I hope no one remembers that one time..."

That one time where I completely embarrassed myself in front of everyone. And of course, no, no one remembers that and why would they write about it? It was so stupid there's no way anyone would remember that. It's just one of those things that manifests in my own mind and I think people would remember but they don't because it wasn't as big of a deal as I made it in my own mind.

And I'm scrolling down and reading and I stop. Because Oh God. Yes they would. There it is. The seal story. Right there. Honestly! Someone actually remembers that?!

I want to die.

So, the seal story. I'm in science class. It's all dark because it's one of those days where we're watching a movie on the tv-vcr roller cart. A boring science movie about seals. And I take this opportunity to write a note. I have no idea who I was writing this note to but whoever it was, it was a long, involved letter that took lots of concentration because I didn't hear or see anything about this movie.

And at one point, I pause because my hand hurt. I shake my hand. I look up and exclaim loudly to the world without thinking (because remember I am not paying attention at all) the following: "Ewwwwwwww! A worm!!"

Yeah.

And nope. Not a worm. I realize this a split second after the word "worm" comes out of my mouth and hysteria breaks out in the classroom.

The film was apparently about, ahem, mating. And that little worm thingy in fact, was not a worm at all. It was, well, I think you get the picture now.

Awkward.

I live my life with this little invisible poster board trailing above my head like in one of those conversation clouds in a cartoon with my embarrassing moments tacked up all over it. There's the thing with the seal, there's the time I said something that I shouldn't have to someone, there's the time I left a performance class in the middle of it because I forgot a line, the time I fell off my bike in college in front of everyone, the time I fell down the stairs in college in front of everyone in Cooper Hall...

Oh there are a lot of these. And I think about them all. the. time.

So of course, when my embarrassing moment surfaces 150 years later because someone else remembered it, I just want to die!

I still can't believe the seal story made it up on the message board. Only this person remembered it as walruses and after someone posted about it, someone else posted, "I remember that!!"

Oh God.

Why why why?

The Seal Story

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2008/12/seal-story.html