I Want to Know Where all the Pens Go.

Are they with the missing socks?

Is there a missing sock vs. pen underground fight club? But honestly, what would the socks have to be mad at? Actually come to think of it...the socks probably have plenty to be mad at. They get holey, stinky, dirty, muddy, they spend most of their time completely confined in the dark...

The toes try to talk but it's probably all muffled because of the sock, then the sock inevitably begins to feel guilty...

No wonder one of them makes a run for it.

Or...are the pens and socks hanging out, maybe living in harmony in a commune playing sock-puppet together? (You know, pen draws the eyes on...)

Because here at our house we buy packs of pens. Packs. Pens in quantity. As in a Sam's Club amount of pens.

You would think it impossible to actually run out of pens. But a couple months later, there are only one or two left sitting in our little penholder on the desk. Maybe that many. And they're not even from the original pack of pens, they're stragglers we've picked up along the way.

All of the others, gone. Somehow, we cycle through them. Use them all, never to be found again. We may as well use it once, then toss it in the trash. That's how fast they go.

Usually the wife gets blamed (of course). And in bouts of momnesia or sleepwalking, I guess it could be possible that I make off with pens and store them in my secret stash. If I were taking Ambien, I'd blame it on that. Sleep-pen-stealing...

But I don't take Ambien. I sleep ok for the most part. Except that my husband snores. We've tried Breathe-Rights, they work sometimes but not always. And never try the generic. Those totally don't work. But usually I can poke him in the arm and he does much better on his side... Ear plugs are great except that I can't hear the kids in the monitors.

Where was I?

Oh yeah. Pens.

So after the Guitar Hero fundraiser (yes I just got around to emptying out my bag of supplies for it), I hit the pen motherload.


A ginormous number of pens from the restaurant that helped us host the fundraiser. I had bought a pack of pens for our signup sheet, but while I was putting them out, I realized that none of them worked. All 20 of them were pen failures. A bad batch. I ruined an entire legal pad scribbling to no avail...

So the restaurant manager handed me two heaping handfuls of pens. And as I went through my bag I realized, I still have them.
So I made a pen bouquet to show you just how many pens we have now. But not for long.

Because in about a month, I will look and see that about half of them have gone elsewhere. Perhaps into the giant legal pad in the sky. Perhaps off to join the sock-puppet commune. Or perhaps to unleash its anger in a pen-sock fight club. (What do pens have to be mad at? I can see a sock's anger, but pens?)

Who knows.

So it'll be interesting to see how long they last. Because I've caught on. I get blamed for the missing pens, but I know it's not me. It's them.
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  1. too funny! i wrote about pens today too! I know what you mean, though--I put pens in my purse but when I need one, they're not there!

  2. You're too funny!! I have that problem too. Also with socks, ponytail holders, barrettes, you name it.

  3. Hehehe, yep and amen. Pens, socks, all kinds of random stuff.

  4. I have that problem at work more than at home. I swear they grow legs.


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