The Cheese Cube

The cheese cube is the devil.

If the devil could come to the Earth as food, it would be in the form of a cheese cube.

Whispering, "Hello there! I'm healthy! I'm dairy and calcium! Have a few! Or many!"

But don't listen. The cheese cube is just trying to thwart your efforts to be healthy.

You see, I am no longer one with the cheese cube. I used to be. But in a formal announcement, right here, I am severing my relationship with it.

Cheese cube, you and I are no longer a good fit. As much as it pains me to say 'Goodbye', you're a terrible influence, and frankly, you must be stopped. You must stop cavorting around, prancing around like you're some sort of health food and go away. Come back in the form of a carrot and we'll talk.

I was never quite aware that the cheese cube was the enemy. Until I threw two wine and cheese parties and the cheese cube was the star. That's around the same time I started counting calories.

Now, you may all already know this. This may not be news to you. But to me, a couple a cheese cubes was never that bad. In my head, at least.

Then again, I have never been much for writing down what I eat or for counting calories either. I had a nice long stint of weightloss without having to do that (although now I'm wondering how on earth that could be...) But now that I am and I (as my husband says) look at every piece of food and see past the foodness and straight into the calorie-count, I'm aware.

I'm educated.

And that little seemingly-innocuous cheese cube, that tiny little miniscule piece of cheese, is evil. Pure evil. Just one, one, tiny one-inch by one inch cube equals 68 calories. At least. And that's not that much. IF YOU HAVE JUST ONE!

But who has just one cheese cube? Honestly...

I remember a time when I'd go to a Christmas party and fill my plate up with cheese cubes.

I'm being healthy! I'm not eating the bacon-wrapped doublefried wonton! I'm having cheese and veggies! Look at how healthy I am!!

Oh I was so naive.

Let's do some math. 5 little lonely cheese cubes multiplied by 68.

= 340.


340 calories! So, if I'm alotting myself 1900 calories a day, just those 5 cubes equal about a meal.
Not to mention if you have more than 5, because 5 get lost on that big appetizer plate. If someone saw your plate with 5 lonely cheese cubes on it, they'd ask you, "That's all you're eating??" And you'd probably be inclined to think, "All I had was a couple a cheese cubes!"

Yah! 400 calories worth!

The first night of the first wine and cheese party, I had a rude awakening. I did count those calories. And I found out very quickly that a few pieces of cheese cubes and crackers, even when I had eaten only a fraction of what I would have eaten if I weren't counting calories (you know, back in the old days) ADDS UP TO A THOUSAND CALORIES VERY QUICKLY!!! I can't help but imagine what I used to eat, during Christmas parties and whatnot, back when I used to fill up my plate! Oh, I shudder...

I state this loudly because I couldn't believe my eyes. Literally, a tiny amount of cheese which is not filling in any way, and a few crackers. 1000 calories. I went over my calories for the day by 20 calories only (thank goodness) but as for the rest of the parties, well, I backed off the cheese cubes.

You can consider this an anti-cheese cube PSA if you wish, because I feel like I have to expose this tiny cube for what it is: a one-square-inch piece of fat.

You can avoid some of the cube calories maybe with some low-fat cheese (however, I provided my guests and myself ever so thoughtfully with the full-fat kind). But now you can consider yourself warned.

I'll repost this around Christmastime if you want.

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  1. Oh that calorie counting thing is such a downer! It ruins all my friendships! Seriously - I do like cheese cubes because they are pre-measured, unlike a block of cheese. Cuz I can just keep eating away at the block, but with the cube I precalculate what I can eat and stop there. If I'm serious about the calorie counting.

  2. I think you've read about my cheese addiction. I need a 12 step program for it. I just can't stop. EVER. I know the calories. I know the pit falls. But it's like a drug for me. And it stays with me. On my lower section. Taunting me when I try to put jeans on. I have a love-hate relationship with cheese :(

  3. WAIT A MINUTE ... you mean the "if it is smaller than your fingernail the calories don't count" policy doesn't apply to cheese cubes ... NOW I KNOW MY PROBLEM!!!

  4. i was shocked when i cut up "one serving" of block cheese. sad too, because cheese is my favorite dairy.

    so instead of a couple of cheese squares i'm having ice cream for dessert!

  5. Oh my gosh, I cannot even tell you how proud you've made me. Not for giving up cheese, but for being so educated about it!!

    And don't worry, once you get the hang of it, you won't have to look up everything all the time. You'll just kinda know how many calories things have in them. I promise!


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