It's a post-July 4th Mantra Monday! I hope you had a great Independence Day, I sure did! We took a little roadtrip to Atlanta to see my best friend and her family and it was a lot of fun.
And now I'm back (and posting a little late). But today I have butterflies.
My arms are a little numb and my breath gets short and I get a little panicky because this time next week, I will be done with my very first triathlon.
The day is Sunday. Just a few days away now. Less than a week.
So this week, there is one thing I have to do, and one thing only, not just during my very final workouts, but in my life in general.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
It can be a very scary place if I let it. I can allow fears and doubts to swirl around like a neverending whirpool that will trap me. (Did I do enough? Did I push through it? Sure I can run. I can swim. I can bike. But can I do all three? In one day? Back to back? Am I in good enough shape? Will I panic in the water? Will I throw up? Will I have anything left when it's time to run? Will I get sand in my bike shorts and chafe? Will I get a flat tire? Will I trip and fall? Will I have to pee (or worse?!) What do I wear? How do I wear my hair? How long will I take? Will I come in last? Will I forget something super important? Like my bike?)
And those are just off the top of my head. If I air them now, maybe I can leave them on this page and keep my head clear. Until I wake up at 4 a.m. next Sunday and get out the door and step onto the beach and breathe in the salty sea air.
Sometimes when I swim, instead of thinking about my stroke or my breathing, I think about baking banana bread. I hate bananas but I make banana bread all the time because the kids like bananas and I won't throw them out if they're going bad, I'll make bread.
So instead of thinking about what I'm doing when I swim, I think about peeling the bananas, tossing them into my mixer, adding the ingredients, one by one, presetting the oven, giving the kids a taste of the batter, each and every step of making banana bread. Until it's done. All warm and toasty with that awful gag-me banana smell that everyone else likes but me.
It really seems to work, too. The time passes. Quickly. Efficiently. All because I just didn't think.
Because sometimes I just think too much.
So this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to spend the week just not thinking. I'm not going to "review" everything I've done. I'm not going to criticize myself. I'm not going to second-guess myself. I'm just going to know that I've "studied" for more than 11 weeks now, and hope for the best.
Because this week, it's not about me. It's about the banana bread. An entire week dedicated to the making of banana bread and each delicate step. Just to keep my mind busy. I may even make it. As a show of solidarity to myself. It would certainly keep my mind busy.