Sleep Screaming

Didn't get much sleep last night. Because last night, I "sleep-screamed."


Sometimes I feel like Bridget Jones and wonder if anyone else does these crazy embarrassing things.

I've never really sleepwalked or sleep-eaten or any of those other things. I don't even know if I sleep-screamed like this before but if I did, I certainly don't remember it like I remember it this time. I may or may not have sleep-talked a time or two. But never a full-out scream.

And actually this wasn't like a scream really. It was more like a full-out, belly "RAH-LA-LAL-RRRRRRR!" Almost like I was roaring at someone or perhaps the sound one would make when jumping out of the bushes to scare them -- you know, with their arms up over their head and their hands in that "claw" position... Something like what I used to do to my sister when we were little. I was a meanie.

In my dream, I was trying to scare someone. I remember that. I don't remember who, but I remember I was in a car with someone in a parking lot, I was in the driver's seat and I turned to them and went, "RAHRRRR-LALALALARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!" in this deep, throaty growl. Kind of like when Elaine and Jerry would put their fingers up to their heads to make devil horns and make that roaring devil sound. And by the way, my roar didn't scare them. They were just looking at me like I was nuts. Which is pretty much true anyway, who are we kidding. And I never really can scare people when I try anyway. Actually it's pretty 50-50. Sometimes I get them good, coming around the corner when they are completely unsuspecting. Yes I do enjoy a good scare from time to time. I just feel bad if it's one of the kids and they start to get upset. Then I feel bad. But adults are fair game. I forgot how much I actually like doing this, come to think of it. It's like a secret past time.

Anyway, that was sort of off-topic. Well I woke myself up with the scream and when I opened my eyes, I realized my face was still contorted in the roaring-scary face I was making in my dream. So I curled my lips back to their original position and closed my mouth (boy my mouth was really dry, probably from the screaming -- I wonder how loud I actually was.) and in the dark 3 a.m.-ness that it was, I saw my husband, who was sleeping on his back, turn his sleeping head from me, slowly to the other side. That was it. He just quietly turned his head.

Which means he must have heard me. And which makes me laugh because he didn't ask me about it or anything, almost as if he would have expected something like that from me.

Oh God. How embarrassing.

So I'm trying to fall back asleep afterward, but I can't stop thinking about the roar, and my face is a little hot from embarrasment and I think about what he must have heard and how my face was still all contorted and how my mouth was still open when I woke up and I picture my husband turning away from me. And I start to giggle. And I think, please don't start laughing, you'll shake the bed, you'll wake him up and you won't be able to stop.

But it was like in church, when you're in a place that you're really not supposed to be laughing. The more I tried to stop myself from laughing, the more I would laugh and well, it was over.

I was in full hysterics and my eyes were squirting tears. And then we were both up, me hysterically laughing trying to recant the details and he, sleepily, shaking his head at me like I'm crazy. I asked him if he heard me and how loud it was, and he (who is used to me doing nutty things) told me he heard it and thought to himself, "Okay? ....Whatever that is..." and then said he had decided that if I were fighting someone in my dream that he'd better turn his head. Just in case.

I never really did get back to sleep after that and neither did he. Thank goodness it's all for better or for worse.

(Of course he couldn't help himself this morning after we woke up. I heard my roar played back to me at least twice already before work. Let the wife jokes begin!)
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  1. aren't dreams crazy? sometimes i have to scream to wake myself up - something scary is happening in the dream, or else i'm just dream paralized, and i know if i could just scream it would wake me up. and after a few minutes of just doing it in my sleep, it actually becomes autible and wakes me up.

    i went for my first real swim this morning and have a new found respect for you!! dang its hard!

  2. You are hilarious. I'd never live that one down, if I'd done it. I know this because I do weird things in my sleep and my husband has the best memory of every one of those things. Seriously. I grind my teeth, talk, walk. You know, in swimming? That somersault-half-twist thing that you do and the end of a lap to go back in the other direction? Yeah. I do that in my sleep.

    Yours is funnier though. More embarassing.

  3. You a meanie? NO. I don't believe it.

    But I've totally done something like that before! Cracks me up!

  4. (..wiping tears of laughter from my eyes...) Thanks for that! What a great story.

    Have you ever seen the British show "Coupling?" You were caught in the giggle loop. You can find it here if you'd like another laugh:


  5. Funny!!! I think I've let out a scream or two!!!lol... I am a grinder... My college room mate used to wake me up and ask me to stop because it was so loud they couldn't sleep!!! Talk about embarrassing

  6. I know this Marine who drill troops in his sleep. His wife told me. She says he calls cadence for a few minutes then sleeps then calls out orders. He goes in and out all night. She said he does this the night before he gets a new set of recruits.

  7. You are too funny!

    I have been having some CRAZY-ass dreams lately! What gives?


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