I Will Admit, I'm Intimidated

When I was scrolling through the internet, the official provider of free training plans, looking for a 1/2 Iron plan, I was intimidated by what I found.

The workouts were crazy!

What on earth was I doing? These workouts aren't something I could do. I'm not ready for that. There is no way.

But I've already paid for my entry into the Miami-Man half-iron race in November and the full Disney Marathon in January.

That's a lot of money to just eat.

I knew I had to combine my marathon training with the half-iron training but I didn't want to overtrain and I didn't know how to combine the two. I was able to wing it and do it with a half-marathon and an olympic distance triathlon earlier this year, but this was different. This was double all of that and it is just way beyond my level of expertise. I pretend to know what I'm doing and I can be a pretty good faker, but even I can't fake my way through this one.

So then I was flapping in the breeze for weeks after the half-marathon without any plan at all. I was sporatically getting random workouts in, the kinds with no rhyme or reason, not  building anything just sort of going through the motions. And I was eating, well, terribly, and I started gaining (already! I told you my metabolism hates me!) and I started getting panicky.

And then my dear sister from the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, Kirsten, mentioned she was going to solicit help from Coach Joe, our coach from Team In Training.

So I did that too.

We went back and forth, Kirsten and I joined forces, and last week, he sent us our plans.

And I promptly pooed myself.

Then I cleaned up, and took a second look at it. And decided that I am actually really scared looking at it. I mean really scared. No wonder I was scared at all the plans I saw online, because they really ARE ALL ASSKICKERS! It wasn't just my  imagination, it wasn't just those plans, it's ALL of them.

I will admit this out loud. I feel over my head here.

And on the flipside, I feel myself thinking wow, if I really did do this, well, that would be something. And that prospect really, really excites me.

I mean, what if???!!

So I am both excited and freakin' scared of what lies ahead. On November 14th, I'll be standing at the water's edge, ready or not. And I will have gone through some pretty vigorous training to get there. I will have done things that I've never done before. I will have gone distances I've never gone before. And it will all have culminated into that moment.

(As long as I don't have any injuries between now and then.)

For now, as I look at my 2nd long workout of the plan which is this weekend, I think it's already starting. The tests are already beginning. 20 mile ride followed by a 5 mile run. Never done that before. So I will just plug away at my plan and take each day, each workout, as it comes, rinse and repeat.

I'm gonna trust in the Coach Joe. And I'm going to take this opportunity to take a deep breath and start believing and trusting in myself. Because yes, I can do this.

Yes I can.

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