Thursday Thirteen

13 things I like about officially being out of a "size huge" for the first time in two years

1. Not crying in the dressing room. I cannot tell you how many times I have stuffed myself into clothing refusing to go the size huger because I couldn't bear to actually pick up that size and admit that I would fit it. (I never actually bought it though, I would choose shoes instead because those always fit.) I would get all hot and sweaty trying on clothes, my hair would be in disarray and eventually I would cry.

2. Tonight I tried on clothes for hours and in normal people sizes (not the size I want to be, but still. Not huge. And I believe in baby steps.) and I could have done it for hours more just basking in the fact that I actually fit things. I felt like Julia Roberts on Rodeo Drive. Only I didn't have a million people swarming around me helping me. And I didn't order pizza whilst trying on clothes. And I didn't have Richard Gere's credit card.

3. Did you know people treat you differently when you're in a size huge? It's true. Sometimes they're not as nice. Sometimes they just look past you. It hurts. I've never been a size huge until after I had kids, and let me tell you, what an eye opener. I like that people are nicer.

4. Or maybe it's that people are nicer because I have more confidence and I'm not all hiding in the shadows from embarrassment from my huge size anymore.

5. I am more sociable. Definitely related to the confidence thing, but I am not always thinking about how I have nothing to wear to the playground or to the zoo or to a party. Or afraid to sit on a barstool because of all my rolls. (Isn't that gross that you know that about me? Oh well!)

6. My husband sees a difference and he likey.

7. My husband still lurved me, size huge or not. I'nt he cute?

8. I like being able to run for 30 minutes without wanting to die.

9. OOh, I was not wanting to play softball while I was large because I was afraid of running to the base like a snail. But I'm joining a softball team in two weeks. I love me some softball. I don't throw like a girl. I played baseball since elementary school and softball from high school through, oh just before the kids were born. Which reminds me of a funny story. One time my husband, before he was my husband, came to NY to visit me and help me pack because I took a writing job in Salt Lake City and I was moving. I told him I had one last softball game to play and I promised my team I would go even though I had so much to do, so we took the train out to Long Island so I could play but I didn't tell him it was a quadruple header, yes, that's four games. We had to make up a couple rain-outs. So my husband-then-boyfriend sat there and sat there and sat there while we played our four games and then I got no packing done whatsoever and pulled an all-nighter before my flight out. He lurves me.

10. Wow! That was quite a tangent. Anyway. I like that my fat clothes are wayyy looser on me. Like my pajamas.

11. I like that I can sift through my closet and try on stuff I had doomed to the pits of never-fitting-again and find that they fit! It's like buying new clothes without the money!

12. I love clothes so much this is why I am obsessed with clothes and fitting them.

13. Finally, and probably the most important, I feel like me again. Plain and simple. It has been so long. I feel like I have been in this fog for two years, not wanting to see my old co-workers or old friends because I was so self-conscious about how I looked. That's no way to live. I was turning into a hermit. And I'm one of the most sociable people on the planet! Are you sick of hearing about my weight yet?

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Happy Thursday Thirteen!

Thursday Thirteen

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