Thursday Thirteen: The Sky Mall Edition

I have a confession to make. I am obsessed with Sky Mall Magazine. The freebie magazine they give away on flights. It started out innocently when I fell in love with a stroller made for cats. I'd never actually buy it. But every time fly, I feverishly flip to the page where it has the little ad with the siamese kitty in the stroller just to see if it was still there. Because if I didn't look crazy strolling my cat around the park, I just might do it. (It's not in the current edition by the way -- there is a new high-tech one for dogs, but no kitty one). Anyway, since then, I've found about a zillion either ridiculous or ridiculously cool products that I've never bought but either laugh at or salivate over and have actually considered ordering. It was hard to choose just 13! By the way, half the fun of reading this magazine is the wording of the ads and the pictures. So here are:

13 OF THE COOLEST AND/OR MOST FREAKY-DEEK SKYMALL PRODUCTS

1. Cool. The Vuzix iWear. It's giant tv glasses! You plug in your dvd player and there you go! It's like watching a giant screen tv from 9 feet away. How cool is this? It's so high-tech I feel like I should be wearing my silver "future" uniform with the fins on the cuffs.

2. Ridiculous. The Indoor Dog Restroom. Exactly what the name implies. This is a little patch of turf on a grid that catches pee and poo. It "can hold up to two gallons of liquid." I can't imagine paying $150 bucks for a dog to pee on turf in my hotel room or wherever else I would need to have this, but I am not a dog owner.

3. Cool and made for me. The "Keep Your Distance" Bug Vaccuum. When I first moved into my home, it was a bit spidery. Of course, this little vaccuum might not have been big enough for the giant freaks that got into my house but we still get the little ones and I hate even those. I have seen this bug vaccuum in actual stores but I still salivate over it when I see it in Sky Mall. Love it.

4. Um? Ridiculous. The Marshmallow Shooter. While this is entertaining, this is one of those items that I like to picture the whole production process with from conception. I picture a guy coming up with the idea. Honey, what if there were a gun that shoots marshmallows!!??Patenting it. Taking it to financial backers. Then, eventually, there are a lot of people wearing suits, sitting around a large table in a conference room discussing The Marshmallow Shooter. Someone says, "This is the greatest idea ever!" And everyone in the room nods in agreement. And then they pat each other on the back and shake hands at the end of this very successful meeting over a product that will make them millions. And it goes into production. By the way, it shoots mini marshmallows over 30 feet and has an LED laser guide to help you hit your target. FYI.

5. Cool! "Walk on water with the Nuclear Globe!" It's a human hamster wheel for on top of the water!! I am having an official OMG moment. I want this. I don't have a body of water in my possession large enough for this thing because I can't picture doing this at the beach, but still. This would be on my "frivolous items wish list." For when I get my mansion with my giant pool.

6. Ridiculous. The "Slanket". OK. What to say about this. This is a blanket with sleeves. Actually, a very practical product. I could use one right now. But look at this guy! And the name "Slanket"!

7. Cool! A framed photo signed by the Soup Nazi! I actually considered buying this one for about a nanosecond. Of course, then I saw the $199 price tag and I quickly thought to myself, "No picture for you!"

8. Ridiculous. Hidden Litter Box. This is a litter box that looks like a planter with a giant fake tree coming out of the top. The planter is the litter box. Don't get me wrong. My eyebrow did go up when I first saw this and I thought, hmm. That's useful! But I can't picture actually getting it. A litterbox is what it is. You can put a bow on it or a tree, whatever you want, but it's still a place for poo.

9. Cool!!!!! The Gustbuster Umbrella! Guaranteed to not turn inside out on you! I always laughed hysterically at the little kid in the shiny yellow raincoat with the shiny yellow umbrella in the Campbells Soup commercial where he is in the pouring rain and a huge gust of wind blows his umbrella inside out. This has happened to me about a zillion times and it frazzles me every time. And I get soaked. This gives me umbrella-envy.

10. Undecided. Straps. They're just straps. But you can put them on any shoe. I am pretty sure most girls will be able to tell when your shoe has straps on it that it's not supposed to. I have mixed feelings on these. They kind of look ridiculous. But I can't tell.

11. Cool! The "Sassybax Shaper". This is a tanktop for backfat!!! This is like the most amazing invention EVER besides Spanx! It eliminates backfat rolls! I want this. Bigtime.

12. Ridiculous. "Toppik". Yet another attempt at covering up the baldness. I have never been bald so I haven't experienced the desperateness of being bald, which I imagine might be a tough feeling to overcome. This product sprays color-matched fibers over your head so it gives the appearance of hair where there is no hair. In 30 seconds. I am a big proponent of being "one" with the bald head. Shave it! Don't spray it!

13. Coolest thing ever! The "Edge Baking Pan". DO YOU SEE THIS???? It makes brownies with all edges!! It's like getting all corners! I love the corner brownies! The chewy crispiness! Oh my. I can hardly stand it.

Thursday Thirteen: The Sky Mall Edition

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