The Icing On the Cake

I put myself in time out this week.

If there were an episode of Mom's Behaving Badly, I'd have been on it.

Sometimes I'm not proud of my behavior. Sometimes I yell more than I'd like to. I'll admit it. I strive to have more patience when my house turns into a loony bin, but still. There are just those days. The pile-up. The "when it rains it pours" days.

And then when one of those days is happening, like for instance, I'm in the middle of a migraine, none of my electronics are working, a note is sent home about less than stellar behavior from my kids at school, there is but one thing that will send me over the edge every time.

Cat poop.

Because cat poop only happens on those days that all those other things are happening.

Never once do I come home from an awesome run, slow motion running and hugs from the kids telling me how awesome I am, putting flowers in water and turning around to spot the little nuggets in the corner.

Nope.

Not once is it on the day we come home from the park, tiny siblings hand in hand and laughing and frolicking nicely saying kind words to one another to find a surprise waiting for me on the couch.

Nope.

It only ever happens on the day when it is sure to send me flying off the cliff. A "Terrible Day Sundae" topped with cat poop in my bed.

I mean really, cat. Does my house just look like one giant litter box to you? Or do you see my eyebrows doing that thing that they do and decide you're going to find a great place to squat that's really going to piss me off.

Because the cat poo isn't coincidence. I'm sure of it.

It's strategic.

I can almost even picture him sitting in the corner rubbing his whiskers like they are his evil mustache, head back in that terrible cackling laugh.

Why! Why, I ask you!

Why does cat poop only happen at the worst time ever?

It's my question to the universe.

Anyway, my personal time out is almost over. But it's been nice to have been on a bit of a techno-hiatus, if even for a few hours. I'm refreshed. Which means there must not be any cat poo in the forecast. Of course the percentages could change by the end of the week.

* * *

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The Icing On the Cake

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2010/04/icing-on-cake.html

I Am A Sucker

I found myself sitting on my mother's couch this weekend ogling at a new fantastic contraption on yet another tv infomercial and decided something.

I'm a sucker.

I get captivated by these things because they look so wonderful and fantastic and they make it seem to me like I must have this. YESTERDAY!

And when another one of these things pops up on the television, I find myself watching the infomercial from beginning to end. Multiple times. Even if there's something better on. Because we have a dvr.

(In fact, I really should turn this off. But it's still on. Because I must see what else it can do!)

Just so you know, I knew the Magic Bullet Blending System infomercial by heart.

My husband would catch me watching it and I'd flick off the channel and he'd give me that look that says, "I know what you were doing."

It blends guacamole! It makes salsa!! You can make an omelette in 30 seconds! All of these cups are microwavable! You can make frozen drinks for everyone and all the lids are different colors so you will never mix them up!

What I also heard: "If you buy the Magic Bullet Blender, every single day will be a party!!"

My most recent acquisition was this:



The Big Top Cupcake. It makes a cupcake that's 25 times the size of a normal cupcake. It's so ridiculous I had to have it and I got it for Christmas. It.looked.magical. So magical that I can't even remember the actual name is "Big Top Cupcake," I call it the Magic Cupcake thingy. I would stop and watch the commercial where ever I was. I talked of this to my parents. My sister. My husband. All the people who would too eventually get caught up in my infomercial madness.

Because we all now have the Magic Bullet Blending system.

Alas, the Magic Cupcake thingy is only just ok. (I'll save you from yourself if you're like me.) I can't actually get it to look like a cupcake. I made one for Christmas so that we could gather the children around and sing to Jesus for his birthday. And someone crassly referred to my cupcake creation as a 'Jesus nipple.' I know. It's just so wrong there are no words and I'm pretending that by crossing it out, it's like I'm not really saying it. Because I'm sure the person who said it's going straight to hell. They know who they are.

So anyhoo. Back to my infomercial addiction.

Yes I own the Magic Bullet Blending System, even though when I excitedly mention the words "Magic Bullet," people do not initially believe I am speaking of a device that you use in the kitchen. (I do wish they'd change the name.)

I even have the upgraded version that came with a giant blender. So I have all those little cups, PLUS a big blender (which was what the original version was lacking -- and believe me when I say how annoying that is when I'm trying to blend a lot of something only to be able to blend a little bit of something lots and lots of times.)

But I made the children's babyfood in it, tomato sauce (which has become legendary on my legendary Margherita Pizza), guacamole, mango salsa (there was that one terrible incident when I didn't know you should remove the seeds from the jalapeno first...) Oh the memories. This contraption I still very much use and love. I still have yet to use it at in a party situation for mixed drinks because I am now the person who used to make babyfood and now has less of a need to make mixed drinks (or maybe more reason, depending on how I look at things...)

The Perfect Brownie pan I was initially excited about because it appeared to make a whole bunch of brownies that were all corner brownies! Corner brownies!! I can't believe they make such a thing! I would do anything for a pan that makes all corner brownies! Anything!

But while the pan does indeed make a perfect brownie each time, all the corners are not as crispy as the real corners, so that, too, is only just sort of ok. To spare you from yourself too.

There's also that infomercial for the "Your Baby Can Read" thing which looks amazing and I feel like a bad parent every time I watch it because I've forked over money for the Magic Cupcake and the Magic Bullet, but something educational that can better my children? Nah.. (I'm terrible!) In fact, I'm so terrible that while skipping through the channels on one of those mornings where there are only infomercials on, I spotted a device that makes your boobs look fantastic and lifts them and it makes them look like you've had surgery without the surgery! (Did you know size "B"'s can droop after children? I know. Right? It's awful.)

Well we were passing through the commercials (my husband had the remote) and he passed by this thing, I asked him to stop, we watched, we went on and saw the "Your Baby Can Read" thing but I was still stuck on the "boob" thing and said, "We really need that!" and my husband thought I meant the "Your Baby Can Read" thing, which is what I should've meant if I were a good parent, and then he stopped when he realized I didn't mean the educational thing and said, "Oh, you meant the boob thing, didn't you?" And called me out on it. I know. I'm terrible.

I even got stuck watching an entire hour of one of those Time/Life music CD shows all on the classic country because I am secretly captivated by June and Johnny Cash and wanted to see the little snippets the infomercial had on them. And then I got caught up in the other music and briefly believed that I needed this CD series, too. Because you know, it's not available in stores!

But now I have my sights set on this: The Redi-Set-Go.

It's like an inverted George Foreman grill (which we have). You can broil a steak and onions in it, but there's also an insert that makes omelettes, or if you pour batter into it, you can make little chocolate cakes with chocolate bars inside of it! There's also an insert with little holes so you can make pancakes, little muffins, cakes, potato and egg thingies, and really this is why I'd want this pan, for the insert with the holes!

But I suppose they make something like this already, right? It's called a "muffin pan." And I have a hundred of those.

So I guess I'll skip this one. Even though it still looks really cool! And I'll longingly watch its commercial. That is, of course, until the next cool thing that comes along.

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I Am A Sucker

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-am-sucker_3064.html

Mad Mommy

Poops' latest masterpiece.

He calls it, the "Mad Mommy."


He even pointed out the furrowed brow.



Nice.

Mad Mommy

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/07/mad-mommy.html

Bloody Brilliant

My husband and I both have college degrees. Too bad they're not in child psych. It might have come in handy this weekend.

It's a big weekend for Poops. We're painting his room and converting his crib to a toddler bed. It's going to be cars and trucks, including some of the characters from the movie Cars, of which he has recently discovered a passion for.

So yesterday, we had a brilliant idea. I'd take him to Home Depot to get the paint and get him his own special paint brush so he can help us. Home Depot was having a block party, and there was face painting for kids and I had another brilliant idea, let's get him a special little red car that looked like his favorite Lightning McQueen painted on his hand! This is so much fun! I'm the best mom ever!

Our Home Depot trip took a while but I figured, hey, we're out, let's go to Target and pick up the sheets real quick for his bed oh and hey, Michael's is right there, we'll just run in and grab the paints to paint the road I'm painting on his wall! Brilliant idea! (Man I'm good. Can anyone say "Mom of the year?")

Well, by now we're on our way home and it's about 12:30 (Wow -- where did the time go?!) and we're hungry so we run for the border and swing through Taco Bell (my day off) and head home. (Tacos! How much fun are tacos!! What a treat! I really am a fun and hip mom.)

We walk in the house and in preparation for painting, Poops' entire bedroom is now in the living room.

Well you can just imagine what happened next. You can literally see the panic wash over Poops. Then it starts. The slow cry, followed by the uncontrollable wailing, the can't-breathe-tears-streaming-open-mouth kind. He's running from the living room to his room and back and forth, (my heart is breaking at this point watching this little head in a state of utter panic) wondering what the heck is happening and what he did to deserve this. And because of mommy's brilliant mind, he's overtired (naptime is at 1), starving, he now has red and black paint all over his forehead because he wiped his face with his car-hand, and he's somehow lost his room.

This is not good.

We sit him down to eat tacos (it's crackers with cheese and meat inside! want some applesauce? Here, try mommy's soft taco, yum! OOh this is so good, aren't you hungry?).

But all there is is wailing.

Wanna take a nap?

More wailing.

Wanna watch the Cars?

Wailing. (I'm now developing my own inner panic over how we're gonna get out of this.)

So husband decides to fix up his crib again, put all his "friends" back in and after calming him down a little, he takes him inside to lay down. About an hour later (after more wailing and at least one climb out of the crib) the poor thing tuckers himself out and falls asleep. We get started painting, oh let's see, around 5?

So, as it turns out, our failed experiments are good lessons for everyone else on how not to do things. Lessons learned:

-Do as much preparation in advance, like getting the paint and sheets ON A DIFFERENT DAY!
-If we must have him involved in the process, also include him in moving stuff out of his room so he doesn't FREAK OUT AND GO BALLISTIC. However -- I might recommend having him do an over-nighter at the Grandma's house while you do all of it. (I should be writing this down. Please remind me about this in about two years when we're doing this again for Mini.)
-Finally, the best tip ever: START EARLY. After being well-rested and with full-belly.

Yes, we are the brilliant minds of today. Lessons learned. But it wasn't all bad. He eventually woke up refreshed and did get to help us after all. And so did Mini.So today, we're almost there. We'll hopefully be finished by tonight and I'll publish the grand before and after.

Bloody Brilliant

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2008/05/bloody-brilliant.html