OK, people. Seriously. Help needed here.
Right now I feel like I am in the CIA or FBI and I am a hostage negotiator and I am trying every tactic in the book.
I don't think I have to tell you what I am trying to set free here, but we are in a potty training standoff, so maybe you can figure it out.
Oh yes, we've tried charts. Stickers. Candy. Big huge pieces of candy. Giant pieces of candy. Support and happiness and rewards and cheers. Silly dances and poop parades. Confetti. Cupcakes. Cookies. Yes, I went bigger before I went smaller. Maybe that's where I went wrong.
But things were looking good for a while. We were going to be done by 3! Everyone was amazed! Things were almost.there.
THISCLOSE.
And then they weren't.
So.
Today I found myself standing in the bathroom among a handful of his stuffed little friends, explaining to each one of them how easy it is to put #2 in the potty. He was sitting on the potty, I was on a stool next to the potty dangling each little friend over the tiny potty that sings, talking them through each step, one by one. Even putting on the little voices of the friends, as if they were voicing their little concerns over going potty. I know you're afraid, little duck, but it's easy! I promise!
Then he took a turn rooting them all on. "You can do it! I know you can!" we said to Snoopy.
"Great job!" we cheered for Rascal, his little blue puppy. "See?? It's easy!" we explained to little yellow duck.
One by one, they all used the potty for the first time and it was magical.
But the boy's still not convinced. I can just tell. Our negotiating session ended with a hang up.
So, I guess we're in a standoff but I'll just wait until he's ready. But I'm going to stand here with this happy mommy face, just like the Idiot Guide says (and yes I bought one in my moment of weakness), bribing him with giving him incentives like Chuck E. Cheese coins (if we collect three, we actually GO to Chuck E. Cheese!) and splaining to the duck and all the other friends that it's an easy job.
Snoopy's already told me that he wants to actually witness the occurrence, and he gets two coins for that if that happens. Of course I don't know at which point the things I am trying become weird, but honestly, whatever works and there's got to be something, right? Bueller?
Tuesday
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