Potty Training 102

Not mere hours after I posted this (and if you haven't read it, go read it and please leave your input), my 22 month old went peepee in the potty.

He saw his brother go before bathtime and he went on the tiny musical potty and there you go.

Yep. Looks like we're getting a jump on things.

I'm going in for round two, people.

Wish me luck.

Potty Training 102

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/09/potty-training-102.html

Potty Training

A few of you asked me about when to start potty training so I thought since it went so smoothly at first for me and then all of a sudden, it didn't (in fact our lovely trip down Potty Lane Road turned into quite a wild ride over here for a while), I thought I'd open it up to everyone to give their two cents on the matter. So mommies everywhere, got some advice? Please do share in the comments. Inquiring minds so indeed want to know! Meantime, here's what I think:

(**Personal disclaimer: I support everyone with their own opinion on the matter, even if it's different than mine. Whatever works for you is the right thing for you, I do not judge.**)

For me, personally, I think it's time to start potty training when a child is able to know when they are pooping or are about to poop and can say the words poop or pee, because that means they will be able to learn how to go about their business and will even be able to tell you if they need to go. Communication is a big plus in potty training, to me.

This, for us, was when my oldest was 2 1/2. Some, like my younger one, may be ready for it sooner. (I'll let you know when I embark on that trip.) But my older son's school recommended the book Diaper Free Before Three. Now, I didn't really go with the whole potty train a 9 month old thing as the book advocated, because honestly, I was already cleaning up a bunch of poop off the floor at age 2 1/2 and I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't have read all the poop and pee cues right for my 9 month old and therefore I'm pretty sure poop would have been a much larger part of my life for a much longer period of my life and pretty much, that wasn't for me, but you can feel free. But I really did love the book for the rest of its potty training advice, and do highly recommend it.

But right around 2 years old, we did do some prep work. We had gotten a musical potty just to sit on with and without clothes, just to have him get used to sitting on it. I would read to him and we would sing songs and nothing ever really happened. I wanted the potty to be a happy place. Then we bought a child potty seat to go on top of the big potty and sat him on that, both with and without clothes. Not expecting anything, just sitting on it a few times a day to get him used to it.

Then we officially started the "training" during the Thanksgiving break last year when he was 2 1/2. I, as the book advised, literally just stopped using diapers cold turkey (mostly, anyway, and how's that for an unintended Thanksgiving pun?) and it really did work for us, because within three days, he was going pee pee on the potty and his teachers were in awe of my amazing toilet training skillz.

Little did they know of course, that the poo was a whole different story. It was hit or miss for a few months with poo, but the pee was a complete success. We had no diapers at all during the day, we made scheduled potty trips so he wouldn't go too long and have an accident (he did still need prompting to go) and we put him in a diaper at night and during naps. Because he was on kind of a poop on the potty strike, he saved his poop for his naptime mostly, when he was wearing diapers. How coy.

But a few months later, he started to wake up dry, so we eliminated diapers entirely.

This is around the time the poo issue came back with a vengeance and the poopy potty strike occurred and we had a lot of underpants casualties. Then came out every imaginable tool from every imaginable resource. The charts, the stickers, the potty dances, the bribery rewards, the trip to Chuck E. Cheese (yup! wasn't above bribery here), and mommy may or may not have lost her cool (and I will tell you first hand that did NOT work in our favor so I advise you to refrain from yelling even if it is the 143rd poo patty you've cleaned from the floor because it has rolled out onto the floor and he is laughing and it appears that he is now doing it on purpose.)

The other book that I read cover to cover in one sitting, is the one I turned to in desperation, when we had some setbacks, and it was called, and quite fittingly so, The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Potty Training Problems.

It suggested that I have him take a more proactive role in cleaning himself up, if he is old enough to do so, and guess what? That worked like a charm. Turns out he thought it was hilarious when Mommy cleaned him up, but not so hilarious when he had to do it.

So, in sum, what worked for us? Quitting diapers cold turkey (so as to not confuse the child with going back and forth from diapers to undies although many books will agree that naptime and bedtime for diapers is ok until they start waking up dry, but you can go with your gut.) Our school was also against pullups but I do know that plenty of people have had success with them. And also, be aware, when it seems like your child is old enough and completely knows what he is doing and how to do it and he still poops his pants, remain calm. It can get quite frustrating, and if you have a sensitive toddler like I do, the poop strike will only get worse if you get upset.

Along with helping in the cleanups, I am not ashamed to say that I rewarded him with a little candy for successes, which many people frown upon but I don't care, he works for candy and I'm ok with giving him one tiny candy corn for a poop in the potty. You can judge away on that one, but we're accident-free for a couple weeks now and I can see now that we're done. Finally.

Officially, diaper free around three-and-a-half. It took 10 months total.

So no, he or she won't be walking down the aisle or graduating in a diaper, I promise. We, despite our few setbacks, are proof of that.

So come on moms, what worked for you? What didn't? Whose advice did you take? What books did you use? Please share!

Potty Training

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/09/potty-training.html

Lying 101

I heard music to my ears this morning at the wee hours of 5 a.m.

I heard my three-year-old get out of bed and open his bedroom door and close it. I then heard another door open (the bathroom) and then I heard nothing for about two minutes, and then I heard his bedroom door open again and then close and then I heard him rustling around in his bed again.

Besides the fact that no door that was opening in this scenario was mine, do you know what this means people????

We've turned a corner! There was pottying happening on own initiative, in the dark, and a mommy was not involved in any way shape or form! There I continue to lay, listening to the monitor and then being comforted by the lull of his return to his bed! Now of course, I stayed awake because I couldn't stop thinking about how wonderful and musical and magical this actually is!

And there are countless implications here, too, I mean, this means he is actually not going to walk down the aisle one day in a diaper.

Hurrah!

I've done my job.

I mean we do have the occasional accident still but we really are on our way safely and happily, with, and I won't lie here, a little help from the Tootsie Roll, (yes, that is my secret, I used candy and I don't care, judge away) which many people have wondered out loud if that is a fitting reward for this milestone (and/or coincidental) and not because it is candy. I don't know really why I chose the Tootsie Roll, actually, and yes, I do see how my mind could have subconsciously drawn some parallel and if so, my mind really is kind of weird and warped without telling me. But I have since drawn the conclusion (and you can file this away for your own personal records) that it is not really a spectacular reward only for the time it takes in consuming it, because he sits there and chews and chews and chews for this ridiculous amount of time, and at bedtime this could really get a bit annoying, so I think I'm going to move on to the M&M, something much smaller, and then eventually, nothing, except his own pride.

(The bigger secret here and I'll reveal it to you, where he also began to turn the corner in potty training when, was a couple weeks after an accident in the middle of the night, he said to me point blank, "Clean me." And I responded happily with, "Well actually, honey, you're going to clean yourself today!" And then had him do it all, put the contents of undie in potty, go and get his new undie and then clean up the spill with a towel. It sounds kind of gross, but if he is smart enough to think that mommy is going to do all the cleaning here, he is big enough to start doing it himself. This did not appeal to him. He started going in the potty almost immediately after that. Lesson learned for both of us.)

Well now that this job is done (almost), I have found myself charged with a new task: How to explain to a three-year-old how to not tell lies.

Does this really happen this early? And are they deliberate? I have to read up on this immediately.

Because I have found that our little "reward," (for a candyholic) has become kind of double-edged sword here. He is taking the initiative to potty all by himself. However, I caught him just yesterday telling me he went (and that he flushed!) and afterward making his case for a treat.

The only problem was that I knew he didn't go, and I knew he didn't flush either. I was standing right there (he did not know this.)

Little boogie.

So. I went into my "mom" mode, explaining to him that when we say we did something and we really didn't, that is called a lie. When we say we did something and we really did do that, that's called "the truth." And you need to tell the truth. Because it's not ok to tell lies. And then I started to go into "trust" and the disappointment that comes from not trusting people, but as it was all coming out of my mouth, I was confusing even myself and I'm pretty sure he had already tuned out by the time I even said the word "lie" because his eyes were glazed over (so were mine, who am I kidding) and he was likely already onto the next thing, thinking "CANDYCANDYCANDY IWANT CANDY HOWDOIGETCANDY".

So that was that. I've been testing him a little to find out if he learned anything about the truth, because it is out there, I have retained at least that much from X-Files and I do plan to pass that on to him in some shape or form, I just really don't know how to convey it in a toddler-type language.

The concept of truth isn't really like holding up a card and asking him what color it is. Or is it? Hmm. Any ideas here? Some useful toddler lingo you have used?

Because, I mean, lying is a very slippery slope! Today it's just about whether or not he flushed, but tomorrow, it's about whether or not he took the car out in the middle of the night and robbed a 7/11 for a carton of Marlboro Lights.

Any help saving my son from juvie is appreciated.

Lying 101

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/09/lying-101.html

Chuck E. Cheese

Well, I think I may have found the answer.

We've had two. Count them. TWO.

And yes, between some potty success and a new washer and dryer, life for me is good. This is indeed what excites me in my life and I am one with it.

Anyhoo. I am almost super-excited to tell you what finally worked and I promise I will if we have another day of success. (Who knew!! And no, it wasn't even the bribery of Mr. Cheese!)

But as promised, he earned two coins and a trip to Chuck E. Cheese and the rest is a story best told by pictures.

A fireman in his glory.

The fireman telling the mechanical mouse ALLLLL about it. Yes. He thinks he's real. Who am I to shatter his little fireman dreams?

Chuck E. Cheese

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/09/chuck-e-cheese.html

More on Poo

Because I know you're dying on the inside for updates on the latest hostage crisis.

It is free! A poo has been freed!

After lunch. His decision. Said he'd be right back. Went in. Closed door. Came out all dressed. Said he pooped.

Poop was confirmed. Now safe and sound in pipes.

Headed out to Chuck E. Cheese after naps.

Not caring at this point it's too much of a reward. It's reward for me to have one less poo to clean.

Victory is near.

That is all. Carry on.

More on Poo

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/09/more-on-poo.html

Latest Tactics

OK, people. Seriously. Help needed here.

Right now I feel like I am in the CIA or FBI and I am a hostage negotiator and I am trying every tactic in the book.

I don't think I have to tell you what I am trying to set free here, but we are in a potty training standoff, so maybe you can figure it out.

Oh yes, we've tried charts. Stickers. Candy. Big huge pieces of candy. Giant pieces of candy. Support and happiness and rewards and cheers. Silly dances and poop parades. Confetti. Cupcakes. Cookies. Yes, I went bigger before I went smaller. Maybe that's where I went wrong.

But things were looking good for a while. We were going to be done by 3! Everyone was amazed! Things were almost.there.

THISCLOSE.

And then they weren't.

So.

Today I found myself standing in the bathroom among a handful of his stuffed little friends, explaining to each one of them how easy it is to put #2 in the potty. He was sitting on the potty, I was on a stool next to the potty dangling each little friend over the tiny potty that sings, talking them through each step, one by one. Even putting on the little voices of the friends, as if they were voicing their little concerns over going potty. I know you're afraid, little duck, but it's easy! I promise!

Then he took a turn rooting them all on. "You can do it! I know you can!" we said to Snoopy.

"Great job!" we cheered for Rascal, his little blue puppy. "See?? It's easy!" we explained to little yellow duck.

One by one, they all used the potty for the first time and it was magical.

But the boy's still not convinced. I can just tell. Our negotiating session ended with a hang up.

So, I guess we're in a standoff but I'll just wait until he's ready. But I'm going to stand here with this happy mommy face, just like the Idiot Guide says (and yes I bought one in my moment of weakness), bribing him with giving him incentives like Chuck E. Cheese coins (if we collect three, we actually GO to Chuck E. Cheese!) and splaining to the duck and all the other friends that it's an easy job.

Snoopy's already told me that he wants to actually witness the occurrence, and he gets two coins for that if that happens. Of course I don't know at which point the things I am trying become weird, but honestly, whatever works and there's got to be something, right? Bueller?

Latest Tactics

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/09/latest-tactics.html

The Poo

Still waiting for a time in my life where the poo goes where it's supposed to.

'Sted of my floor.

Or my hand.

Or in a pair of Cars underpants that subsequently must get tossed.

But alas, it's the Energizer Bunny of potty-training going on here. Stilll goingggg....

Tonight it is quiet. The kids are asleep. I ran out of the big huge diapers that cover the bottom of a three-year-old. And we tried something new. He's asleep right now in the room next to me, with only a thin piece of fabric separating his potential poo from his bed.

Yep. Underpants. At night.

It's the first time. I remain optimistic.

That one day, one night, maybe even this night, a boy will walk out of his room and into the potty. Independently. Alone. Brave. Unwavering. Conquering. Pooping. In potty.

A girl can dream.

Will we toss out another pair of undie? Will he conquer the dream? Will he walk down the aisle in a diaper? Graduate Summa Cum Laude wearing nothing but a gown and a diaper?

We shall see.

* * *

Update #1: Experiment did not have expected outcome. The pee-pee made an early appearance, waking subject. Subject was drenched and pissed.off. Balled fists and everything. (Now I only tried the no diaper thing because he's been waking up dry and during the day by the way is completely potty trained -- goes on his own without asking for help. Getting used to the idea of walking out of your room in the dark and going potty takes some getting used to I guess.) But man. Grum-PY.

Update #2: Subject was cleaned and went back to bed all dry in nice new fresh pair of undies.

Update #3: Subject wakes up, plays, subsequently poos in pants.

Update #4: Ramone undies make way to giant underwear heaven in the sky. Or where-ever undies go. Replaced by Thomas.

Update #5: Subject was bribed with dreams of going to Chuck E. Cheese if he poos in potty.

Update #6: A girl can dream.

The Poo

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/08/poo.html

Poopy Face and Eyes

We're getting pretty good at potty training but I won't lie.

It's been messy.

There are days when I feel like I'm covered in it. I'm cleaning it off the floor (you know, close but not close enough), off the toilet (because now he's so excited he's actually doing it that he jumps off the potty to show me before he's actually finished. I know. Lucky me.) Off myself. Off of him. Add that to a one-year-old who's not even close to potty training yet but enjoys his solid foods and sometimes a girl can feel as if the smell is permastuck in her nose forevermore.

Sure, my life is full of poo. (But really, whose isn't?)

But I have to say, I'm an optimist. You could say I'm a toilet's half-full type-a gal.

Sure there's poop and there's an accident here and there, but we've really shared some memories during this whole process. We've gone through hours of reading books on the potty, singing songs, running away from the potty because we've been scared of it, flushing a million times in a row, unraveling the toilet paper down to the roll, using chocolate and lollipops charts and stickers as bribery (I'm not above it...), cheers, fears, accomplishments, laughs, cries, potty victory dances... Oh yes, we've been through it all. It's better than "Cats".

And sure, every once in a while I'll still catch him running into his room, slamming the door and hiding in the corner to do his business until I burst in like I'm putting out a fire and, yell, "I gotcha!" and whisk him away to the toilet (because I know all his dirty secrets -- it is true as I always suspected, that moms have eyes behind their heads and can read minds...). But I am proud to say that as of this writing, we are on a good 80 percent of potty mastery. We are this close (my finger and thumb are positioned but an inch away from each other.)

The easiest part was pee. He's always been pretty good at that one. (Now to figure out when to teach him how to stand up and do it...)

But the poop's been tough. He's been scared of doing it for a while. Sitting there for a half hour, only to poo about a second after putting his underpants back on. But he's starting to come around and I might be just as excited as him and not even because of the prospect of less poo in my life. There is true happiness involved. And I mean total and utter, sheer two-year-old joy! Because the other day when we were at my parents' house, he did it all by himself (oh, the pride he had...) And we all knew it because we heard yelling from the bathroom (he likes his privacy by the way). He was yelling for my dad, "Papaaaaaaa!", to come into the bathroom.

Him: Yook it, Papa!! Yook it!! I did it!!
Him (louder): Yook it Papa! Poopy faces! Poopy eyes! Poopy faces!!

Of course, our interest was piqued. (What is this? Poopy faces?) We didn't quite understand what he was saying until we all, my mom, my dad and I, alongside of my proud son, crowded around the toilet and peered in.

Yep. Perfect little round droplets shaped in one big poopy face with big poopy eyes.

Yes, he's creative too.

He actually made a poop face. And yes, it even had poop eyes.

And he must've bonded with "Mr. Poopy Face and Eyes" too because he was upset when it was time to say goodbye and send him to the big toilet in the ground. He let out a big whine, "Noooo poopy face!!!!" And then Mr. Poopy was gone and there was silence. I was even sad for a second.

But then there were high fives all around and a lollipop and Mr. Poopy Face and Eyes became a distant memory. So here's to you, Mr. Poopyfaceandeyes.

We salute you.

* * *

Ps. If you're in the Quest for Greatness, read below for this week's prize.

Poopy Face and Eyes

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/02/poopy-face-and-eyes.html