Showing posts with label Randomness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Randomness. Show all posts

Thursday

I Am ThisClose to Wearing a House Coat.

.Just a few of the things I learned this week:

  • I no longer have any fashion sense whatsoever. I have 1,000,000 black tank tops and 2,000,000 tee-shirts. I'm not sure where it went, but I realized I have nothing "New York" appropriate, as I did when I once lived there, and I scoured 5 stores searching for something "hip" and I realized I no longer know what that means.
  • Those cute vesty sleeveless sweater thingies that are everywhere? They look horrendous on me. But they're so cute on the hanger!! And trust me, I've tried them. In every color and shape, because I refused to give up the dream. I tried on long ones, sleeveless ones, short ones, stripey ones, solid ones, the longer-in-the-front-shorter-in-the-back ones, shorter-in-the-front-longer-in-the-back ones, but nope. Nothing. Not now, not ever.
  • I used to wonder where people's fashion sense went and when the loss actually occurred because eventually a man will end up in bright pink plaid pants a woman will end up in a housecoat and now I see that I'm headed straight for it. I'm thisclose. 
  • Unrelated: don't watch Cougartown while checking in for your flight. You may accidentally check "yes" when it asks you if you're carrying hazardous materials onboard and the website will log you out and shame you and you'll have to start over.
  • I am completely incapable of going to a pecan farm, buying two boxes of sugary pralined ones and not eating half of one of the containers in one sitting.
  • If you have a motherly instinct about anything, anything at all, don't ignore it. You're right.
  • I cannot take a picture of food. Well, physically I can. But it almost never turns out editble. I see lots of pretty food pictures on yummy foodie blogs and they have a gift for cooking and taking pictures of their delectibles. I have the gift of making food look like vomit.
  • After being at home for 4 years with the kids, I still have a pretty ok resume and people still want me. It makes a girl feel good to be wanted.
  • My 2 year old is in a "doesn't travel well" phase. The first leg of a roadtrip is fine, the second half is pure hell um, not fine. We have one roadtrip down, two left to go and mama might need a Xanax.
  • You can make a "time out" spot anywhere. And that includes on a curb outside a gas station in Georgia.
  • And it works, too.
  • Oh, and actually preparing for a roadtrip instead of expecting your (and by "your" I mean, my) 2 year old to entertain himself for 8 hours might help too. BIG lesson learned.
Well that's it, I am off to New York City for the weekend to see friends and family and go to my cousin's wedding. Squee! I will not lose my identification. I will not lose my identification. I will not lose my identification.

(Like I did the night before I left for San Diego for the half-marathon.)

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Friday

Random-ity About Kids, Cats, and the Easter Bunny

-My son's about to turn 4 (Oh.Migod. Different topic entirely.) Anyway, the line of questioning is coming in full forced right now.
"Why do we have bobos?"
"Mommies have them to feed babies. I have no idea why boys have them, actually, and I don't think anyone does."
"Are eyes made of glass?"
"No."
"What are they made of then?!!"
"Tissue but not the kind that you blow your nose with, though, a kind that muscles and other things in your body are made of. Because your body is made up of different kinds tissue (like muscles) and cells and blood and skin."
Crickets.
 "Does Darth Vader live in Florida?"

Our entire days filled are with long lines of questioning. I feel like I'm on the stand. Because as you know, some of the hard questions make me sweat and turn me from mom-success to mom-fail in 1.2 seconds.

-I forgot my son's alarm clock at my parents' house. GAH! Few things erupt such intensity from my (almost) four-year-old than not waking up to the beautiful serenity of the rainforest nature sounds of his alarm clock. Well that's not true, actually, almost everything erupts intensity from my four-year-old, but this one hit such near tragic proportions that as soon as I realized I had forgotten it, my whole insides sunk because I knew what was to come. He's become so accustomed and reliant on the alarm clock, that if he happens to wander out of bed before his alarm comes on and the alarm clock has the audacity to go on while he is not in the room and he goes back in to discover that he was not there when his alarm went on, the tragedy that ensues for the next 30-45 minutes hits unsurmountable proportions that no amount of coffee in the morning can make me want to endure. And God forbid I forget to set it at naptime. I guess the good news is that he usually waits to hear the alarm before getting out of bed and it's helping him learn how to tell time (hurrah!) But if the alarm doesn't go off as planned? RUN FOR THE HILLS! (Or the coffee pot.)

-There's been a breach! My husband had just put the boys to bed when he heard a door open and out came walking my 2 year old. WHICH MEANS HE HAS OFFICIALLY AND SUCCESSFULLY SCALED THE CRIB.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I was drawing this one out as long as I could. Four, maybe 5 years old? 6? 18? The thought of constantly walking another one back to bed 100 times when we start the whole "big boy bed" thing (and the amount of coffee that I will require for this new development), well, I'm just not ready for it. Plain and simple.

-There is nothing that makes me more violent than heading to bed around 11 at night all bleary-eyed, getting ready to pull back the sheets and discovering that my cat has conducted his official business on my bed. And then having to spend the night huddling under a twin comforter because I don't have any spare queen-sized comforters in case of a cat's indiscretion. Considering a new comforter. Or a new cat.

-I went food shopping! Hooray! I knew you were worried about that.

-I did nothing for April Fool's Day. But I so wanted to do the one where you put Saran Wrap across a doorway and someone (my husband) walks through it. So badly. Just picturing it sends me into the giggles.

-We're going to my aunt's for Easter on Sunday and I'm looking forward to not cooking I'm looking so forward to seeing lots of family from out of town! Also, I acquired the kids' Easter outfits more than a month ago! So, so proud of that one. However, the "Easter Bunny" still has yet to acquire items for the Easter basket and has terrible "Easter Bunny" fears having to sift through all the leftovers on the bare shelves at this point.

-No meat today. That's for me and for you. (For those of you who follow Lent and not all of us do so that's ok.)

-Ps. I gave up fear for Lent. It was awesome.

Happy Friday everyone and Happy Easter!! Any big Easter plans???


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Thursday

Random Posting

A list in no particular order of importance.

It's so cold here in Florida I feel like the alligators are huddled under the water rubbing their tiny alligator arms (but not being able to reach because they're so short) going, "Dang, it's cold out here!"

(Seriously though. What do they do? Are they used to this? I kind of feel bad for them. Kind of.)

I hate Taco Bell's "Drive Thru Diet." I cringe when I see the commercial and it fires me up. It's one thing to offer more nutritious items on the menu. I'm all for that. But don't tell me that eating at the drive thru of Taco Bell is going to make me lose weight. And furthermore, don't tell me that sh*t's healthy. If I must eat there, then there are some healthIER items to choose from. But that's it.

I have a cold. Because why wouldn't I?

And that makes me grumpy and go on rants about things like Taco Bell commercials.

My sister and I were trading Karate Kid quotes on Facebook and I got to thinking how Daniel-san never ages and how I follow Ralph Macchio on Twitter. The other day I knew he was shoveling snow and taking Ibuprofin.

I also follow Darth Vader and R2D2, whose tweets are usually something like, "Beep! Doot Deet!" I always retweet it.

Right now I'm wearing black dress socks with pajamas.

I was grumpy earlier this week so I bought myself some flowers and a bottle of wine. It was like taking myself out on a date. Without the making out.

I need to go to the store desperately because we're running out of everything but I'd rather saw off my arm than go to the store with two sick kids.

My son was singing "10 Little Indians" this morning and I told him he was part Indian and he yelled at me and said, "No! I'm a police man!"

Yesterday, he told me he wanted to be a "motorcycle man" and I told him he could be an astronaut who rode his motorcycle to work and I thought his mind might explode with this information.

He found his whistle shaped as a fighter plane this morning. Hurray!

I need a night of dancing with the girls.

Fun with Google: go there and just type "Why does..." or "Why do..." or "Why does a man " or "Why does a woman" and see what autofinish comes up with. HILARIOUS! I'm so immature. But my husband is more immature-er because he told me to.

I think I just might vlog about how to "frog". You inspired me yesterday in my weigh-in post. (It's an exercise that sends me into total ab failure.)

That's all. Feel free to share randomness and/or wise thoughts here. Otherwise, have a nice day!
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Tuesday

Things in My Head Today

-I saw one lone ant in my bathroom this morning. Was it truly just one? Or is there an army somewhere?
-I have written a song about toothbrushing. On the fly, of course, because that's how MomBrain works.
-Speaking of songs, if you chant, "Keep the water in the tub! Keep the water in the tub!" eventually you'll start dancing and singing it to the tune of the thrasher song "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor!"
-I don't feel I'm ready and/or organized for my day today and I have to be out the door in 20 minutes.
-I am the only stay-at-home-mom on my softball team. That made me laugh this morning for no reason whatsoever.
-The minivan is trashed inside.
-Have you seen the Virtual Baby Shower going on here? Click the button right above this post! NICU mommies need us! I'm planning a shower game for the blog on Thursday so come back here Thursday. Don't forget.
-My three-year-old is asking for carrots right now because he "can't see better right now". Um, okay! Carrots it is!
-Which reminds me, in an effort to coerce him into eating chicken a couple weeks ago, in sheer desperation I told him it was Candy Chicken. He totally ate it. Is that wrong?
-I'm not scared about Saturday. Turns out the great thing about tackling your fears (like open water murk-swimming) is that all of a sudden, the fears get much smaller.
-It is very likely I will be a "party of one" at the tri on Saturday. Poops has soccer and my husband's the assistant coach. I'll have to bring a camera and take lots of pictures of myself!

-OK, now I have 15 minutes left to get the two kids and myself ready, make a lunch and get out the door. What's in your head today? It's Tuesday but it feels like Monday again. Why is that?
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Sunday

Sunday Randomness

I went to the Killers concert Friday night.

I had no voice, but I was going to the concert come Hell or high water. And while buying a t-shirt because I may or may not have a huge crush on the lead singer LOVE the Killers, I discovered that they were selling toothbrushes. I had to wipe my eyes, like in the cartoons. Where they make that squeaky sound.

Official Killers Toothbrushes. For $10.

Besides being able to whiten my chompers with an official toothbrush with one of my favorite band's name on it, I couldn't really think of why the Killers chose that particular item to have on sale along with their t-shirts.

I'd have loved to be in that planning meeting.

CD cases, key chains, pens, nope! Toothbrushes... Yes!!!!

Because that's the natural progression. Right?

Anyhoo, because my husband called it the biggest waste of $10 he'd ever seen and threatened to disown me if I had made that purchase, even though I strongly believe that the mere existence of a Killers toothbrush was reason enough to purchase a Killers toothbrush (we are from two very different schools of thought), I just went ahead with the t-shirt. And promptly put it over the shirt I was already wearing. Because I'm cool like that.

Other randomness is as follows.

One of my nasal spray's side effects: weight gain. Nasal spray causing weight gain. Now that's a new one. NOW I know why I got the Reuben at Beef's before the concert. Oh. You mean the nasal spray isn't responsible for that one?

Furthermore, I am 6 workouts behind in my training for the tri on the 24th. SIX! OK, well technically I would have taken two days as off-days, but still that's 4. 4 days of completely leveled, no voice sickness, and now even though I still have some head-thing going on, I am going to attempt a run this afternoon to get back in the saddle.

I have read, and I've also heard the same from my doctor, the rule of thumb: you can train if the cold goes from the neck up. From the neck down (chest and whatnot), it could be trouble and your body needs some rest. I am not a doctor, this is only what I've heard. Now, full-body-aches and whatnot, I do believe your body is telling you to sit your arse on the couch. Like I have.

And ps. I have not missed this many days of training in, oh, I am pretty sure it's been about 6 months. I can't believe I'm even saying that, that I have even been that consistent for that long, but it is true. That's the beauty of having back-to-back-to-back race-day goals and why from now on for the rest of my life, I will have a race-day to train for, whether it's a 5k or a Turkey Trot or whatever. Ultimate accountability.

My husband will read this thinking, great. So that's thismuch plus thismuch plus thismuch, in race registrations. Just great. Can you tell who the account person is in this relationship?

Of course, I'll counter with, well I could go and get fat again if you like and then we can pay more for pre-diabetes and cholesterol medicines, and double bypass surgery for my clogged arteries, either way you wanna do it is fine with me!

Oh I'm kidding. Sort of.

My husband let me sleep in until 9 today. It was so luxurious. It was like Christmas.

That is all. How was your weekend?
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Friday

The Red Light District

The Red Light District is in my bathroom.

At least 5 times a day, one of the two will go into the bathroom, stand on the stool and turn on the light. The red heat lamp light from the 80's that still resides in my bathroom. You can see which one does it right there.

The other inevitably follows and then there is a chant. Both of them yelling, "Teef! Teef! Teef! Teef!" until I get the toothbrushes out, put the toothpaste on them and then hand them their toofbrushes.

Where they will stand and brush their teef, happily I might add, for as long as I let them.

This would actually go on all day if I let it.

Not that I'm complaining. I am sure this phase will be short-lived and you better know I'm living it up baby!

Yeah, I'm pretty happy. Happy toofbrushers = happy mommy.

Unless it interrupts my blogging, of course. Just kidding. No I'm not. Yes I am! (Gawd!)

Anyhoo, it's a lazy Friday and I'm posting over at the Sisterhood today both here (Fugly Shoes) and here (Fitness Friday), so come on over!

Monday

Monday's Motivation

I find inspiration in weird places, including the osteoporosis commercial with Sally Field. But she does say one thing in there that gets me every time, and that's what I'm gonna be reciting during my workout today.


"One body. One life. One body. One life. One body. One life." All throughout today's weight training. Yes, I'm a dork. But if I don't dig deep, I'll fall off the wagon. This is the body I got. This is the only life I got. And I gotta make the best of both.


So I didn't want to announce to the world that my husband was out of town last week, but he was in South Korea for the week and it was the longest week ever. I don't know how single moms or military wives do it, because when he's not here, it feels like all I'm doing is waiting for him to come home. Our house is in an uproar, the only thing out of Poops' mouth all day every day is "Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy". And it was my first time spending the night in the house with the kids without him, which, yes, I am wimpy, but my house has noises, and I go around 3 or 4 times checking and re-checking all the locks, and securing my "weapon" by my bedside (just in case). I sleep very light and I stir at every little noise in the monitors. You'd think it wouldn't be a big deal since, you know, I was single for all those years and lived alone. But since I've had kids, I drive slower, I am the person who waits for the huge, long break in traffic before crossing multiple lanes, I constantly look out for "sketchy" people when I'm out, and I don't answer the door during the day. I am sure my years in news has something to do with my paranoia too, but I have seriously never been this cautious and paranoid until I had kids. I would like to think that if I were in a threatening situation, I'd rise up like and evil, giant, black bear to protect her cubs, but hopefully I will never have to find out.


We told Poops that daddy went on a plane and that he'll be back. He was ok the first day since we saw him off at the airport, but the next day, he was beside himself because daddy wasn't there to get him up and get him breakfast. So I found this little pilot and airplane that he had gotten as a gift, and we pretended that the pilot was Daddy. And the pilot guy sat at Daddy's chair at mealtimes, and when Poops was missing Daddy, I'd say, "Where's Daddy? Go get him!" And he'd run and find the little pilot guy and give him a hug or a kiss. I think that made him feel better.