It's working!! My gosh it's working!!
Earlier this week, a grumpy zombie "me" went out to buy an alarm clock with fun ambient sounds so my 3 year old would know when to get out of bed, instead of waking the whole house up at 4 a.m.
Since he's been waking up at 4 and 5 a.m., I set the "rainforest" to come on at 6:30, so that if he was up and he was playing in his room, it wouldn't completely feel like forever. He came out at 6:31 proclaiming, "I heard the music! I heard the music!" Now, I have no idea if he actually got up at 6:30 or if he was playing in his room for a while, but the point is, he stayed in there!
Victory!!
The second day, we set it to 6:45 (15 extra minutes of sleep, whooo-eeee!!) He came in at 6:46 proclaiming, "I heard the music! I heard the music!"
The third day, we set it to 6:45 again. This time the music actually woke him up! And he was mad about it! "Mommy, can you buy a longer clock? Because the sun's not up yet and it woke me up." HURRAH!
So we're going to try 7 a.m. tomorrow. That's like the holy grail. Oh if "past-me" could just see me now. If "present me" could go back and tell "past-me" that I actually wake up before 7 every morning, "past-me" would never believe me.
But here is the biggest benefit of said alarm clock experiment. He didn't really know what time it was before, so now he has this little bit of empowerment. He now has the knowledge that if he wakes up at 4 a.m. and the "sounds" aren't on, it's not time. Which means he doesn't get out of bed, come into our room, interact with a grumpy one of us who marches him back to his room and tells him to wait for this unknown amount of time. And he doesn't get frustrated thinking time is up when it really isn't (5 minutes later) and do this every 15 minutes until 7.
In fact, when he wakes up, he's so excited he waited until the music came on and feels like he accomplished something! And in return, everyone is actually happy to see each other in the morning! There are no hard feelings, no one's frustrated, it's like the rainbows are shining and the birds are chirping!
Why didn't I do this before?
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Thursday
The Great Clock Experiment Part II
Wednesday
Weigh-In Wednesday - Vlog Included
G'day, mateys! It's another weigh-in Wednesday with the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans! (Don't know what that is? Go to there now!)
So I re-joined Weight Watchers last Wednesday. I couldn't be trusted. I don't do well without plan and I can't be trusted. I wish I did well solo, but I don't. And plus they were running a special. Of course, the same day I joined was the same day I had a McSplurge because I can be a McLunatic and I screwed myself out of any extra points for the week, which was case in point for why I can't be trusted. I felt like eating my arm off all week but to be perfectly honest, I don't know how many points are in one arm, so that wouldn't have worked either. On a lighter note (pun intended) I did have a Beck's Light, 64 calories, which is 1 POINT! ONE! I recommend you go to there. Wait, maybe have breakfast first.
So after all that, I did stick to my points every day. I didn't have my "extra" points because I devoured them. But I did earn some activity points by riding 30 miles over the weekend and doing spin class and I dipped into some of those. (These Weight Watchers peoples are generous.)
Week four of the challenge and week one of Weight Watchers:
1.5 pounds. WOOT!
So I'll take one of these little babies, thankyouverymuch!
Because I've lost 5 for the challenge so far. Woohoo!! (*happy dance here and song* Shawty -- it's your birthday! We're gonna party like -- it's your birthday!)
Now, last night, we had some fun on Twitter. Because it was Tuesday and The Biggest Loser was on and we like to do our "last chance workouts" during commercial breaks but since they're on Twitter, we call them "Tworkouts" (clever, right?) Basically, April
(Thank you so much, You Tube, for making that shot the freeze frame. Awesome.)
Oh and guess what??? The Sisterhood is up for a Shorty Award!!! Can you go to there and vote?? Pretty please??? We're thisclose to being in the top 5!!!! All you need is a Twitter account!
Hope you did fabulous this week!!!
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Monday
The Great Alarm Clock Experiment
As I began this post, my eyes were swirly and there were little birds flying around my head and I had a headache.
I had been up since 4 a.m.
Because I have an early riser in the form of a 3 1/2 year old and if he's up, the whole house is up.
BECAUSE HE CANNOT CONTROL THE VOLUME OF HIS VOICE!!!!!
I don't actually think I woke up at all yesterday. I think I was sleep-shopping, sleep-driving, and sleep-cooking. Sleep-picking-them-up-from-school, sleep-eating, sleep-Twittering, sleep-cleaning. A shower didn't help. No amount of coffee helped. I was quickly reminded of how much I enjoy and need my precious sleep and how this is the one perk I looked forward to during both of my sons' newborn phases. Except that it's not a perk. Because I was up at 4 a.m.
So we decided to conduct a little experiment. The Great Alarm Clock Experiment of 0-10. In fact, I was going to write this post yesterday, but I was too much of a zombie and couldn't even form a sentence.
During my sleep-shopping, I went out and bought an alarm clock! With big digital numbers, and a projector that puts these big numbers up on the ceiling and that plays all sorts of fun ambient sounds. Because what I realized is that, really, how is he supposed to know when to get up? Except for the completely dark house and all the sleeping bodies (which should be obvious enough), I can yell at him to go back to his room when he comes in my room at 4 a.m., but he has no idea for how long he should stay. So it's only natural for a 3 1/2 year old to come back into our room 5 minutes later to check and see if it's time yet, because he has no idea how much time has passed. It must feel like forever in that tiny head! I admit that I do feel bad for that when I am of sound mind but when it's 4 in the morning, I can get a little testy about it!
No, he can't tell time yet. But he can understand that you stay in your room until the pretty sounds come on, right? Surely that makes sense. (Right?)
So we practiced at naptime. I told him to stay in his room until the sounds come on and he was so excited about his new clock and the cool numbers on his ceiling. He kept running in and turning his lights off and looking at the time on his ceiling. He doesn't know time but he does know numbers, so I told him that when the 1 turns to a 3, then the sounds would come on. He looked like he understood and then said something about aliens so then I wasn't so sure. But 3 o'clock magically came! And he stayed in his room until naptime was "over!"
But would he stay in there at bedtime? Oh please please please pretty pretty please, dear God, I can't take another sleepless night. I just can't. I don't function. I want to function.
Last night I set the alarm clock on "Rainforest" (he chose it) for 6:30 a.m. At 6:28 I woke up magically and felt like I did when the baby had a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep. You know, sort of panicky and excited at the same time. And at 6:31, my door opened, and a happy little boy came in and exclaimed, "Mommy!! I stayed in my room until the music came on!!" And I was joyfully and blissfully happy!! Oh please don't be a fluke. Please say we are geniuses and have found the answer! Pretty please. I'm not above begging. I don't know who I'm begging but I'm hoping someone's listening!
So there you have it. One night of sleep and a very happy mommy typing away, already coffeed and showered and waiting for another round of experimentation.
I'll let you know how it goes. I am definitely setting it for 6:45 tomorrow. I bet he won't even know! (Am I flying too close to the sun?)
Have you had this experience??? What worked for you?? Please share! Because if this turns out not to work, I might die.
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Mantra Monday: Be Comfortable With Good Change
They were awesome.
I hacked up a lung, but it was totally worth it.
Saturday after my ride, I got out of the house for a little bit. I needed to do a few things.
I needed some new pj's. Because my current stash is all too big (hurrah!)
I also bought a belt. I have never since my high school years owned a belt. I always thought if you were wearing a belt to be stylish, then probably your belly shouldn't hang over it. Which mine did. Or would've if I owned one. But my belly doesn't do that anymore. And now I have a belt. (Squee!) And wow! It really does work at holding up pants! Go figure.
The next thing I did made me very uncomfortable.
I brought my wedding band in to get resized. Smaller. Now this one scared me. As it is right now, I can't wear it because it falls off. However, getting it resized means making a commitment to stay my current size, or else to not fit my wedding ring. Back on the positive side, when it comes back, it will be smaller than on my wedding day. Back on the negative side: I will have to stay this way or not only not fit my wedding ring, but admit defeat and have it resized to larger. Nightmare!!! I have put off getting my wedding band resized for months now because of this. Because sometimes I wonder if, as in all previous weightloss quests, this one will be short-lived. I hope it's not. But what if? And so I'm wearing a cheapy ring that I can wear while I swim. But it's not pretty. And it's not mine. And it's certainly not the one that my husband put on my finger just before he said, "I do." And since we're about to celebrate our 5th anniversary and all...
Yes, I'm afraid of a lot of things and this time I'm afraid of getting a larger finger. I really really love change, but sometimes certain types of "change" are the kind that seem too good to be true. You think they might be fleeting. (Like finding out you're a Power Ball winner. Which I'm not. But I'm pretty sure I'd be scared to death of that too, if I were!)
So, I bit the bullet and I sent it in. I will have it back on Saturday and (smaller fingers crossed) I won't have to resize it up. I am making that commitment right now. Again.
Because milestones happen every day and I'm gonna enjoy these ones. And I'm going to work on being comfortable with change of the good kind.
* * *
What's your mantra this week???
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Friday
I ROCK
I was actually surprised at how hard this was. I must've looked at the computer screen for 20 minutes before I actually started typing something. And even then, I deleted and typed and deleted again. But thankfully I was able to come up with something, and mine are here. And I'm going to follow Brooke's lead here, and ask you, whether or not you're a sister at Shrinking Jeans or not, to tell me, how do you rock?
Go ahead, toot your own horn! Because you rock. You know you do.
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Wednesday
Weigh-In Wednesday: The "I'm Running a Marathon" Version
Sometimes when you feel like crap you just have to get out and pretend you don't. Like I am today. At Panera, by myself, with coffee. Don't worry, I'm in a corner keeping my germs to myself.
I'm going to do a "good news sandwich" here. Some good, followed by a little annoyance, followed by more good. So stay with me.
First, the good. The weigh-in at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans (Join yet? It's never too late!)I maintained this week! Woohoo! Which is fantastabulistic because honestly, I haven't gotten a workout in since Sunday and I'm not going to until my chest clears. I am all for working out with a headcold, I did it over the weekend and I felt fabulous afterward! FABULOUS! As in, I so didn't want to but did anyway and it was amazing. But when it moves down to the chest, it's a whole different ballgame. It's time to rest. Because it either is or will become an infection.
Sandwich meat. And I'm so sorry I'm the girl who's grumpy about being sick. No one wants to read about that, I know. That's pretty much why I haven't blogged. Because when I open up my computer, my head is all in a fog and all my inner monologue wants to do is curse. So I'll stop in a second with one last rant: AAH! I just can't seem to get over this thing, these spores, whatever they are! My skin hurts. I haven't been able to get a workout in this week yet. I feel like time is a-wasting away and that I'm good for nothing. I hate how time wasting being sick is and how useless as a human I am. Maybe I'm just annoyed because I can't get over this thing in a timely manner. Let's go, spores! We're on a schedule! We have a 20 mile bike ride on Saturday and a bike and a run on Sunday. I'll give you until Saturday and then that's it! M'kay?
OK I'm done. Last part of the sandwich. More good news. I am officially signed up for the Disney MARATHON next year. January 2011. I am running a marathon. Me.
I mentioned it to my husband earlier in the week. Last night, he looked over at me and asked me, "What size shirt?" I said "small." Me. A freakin' small. Holy crap that's awesome. I had a hunch he was signing us up and before he pressed confirm, he said, "Ok, this is it! Yes or no?" And I said yes. SQUEEE! This is it!
Why a marathon? After the half-marathon last year, which was so so long enough, I wasn't up for the marathon and I honestly felt like I pretty much never would be. I pushed the marathon to the back of my head because running 13.1 miles was so boring! And it hurt! And I really didn't see how I could keep my head busy during marathon training. Because really, my head is the most annoying place to be sometimes on long runs.
However, I've done a lot since last year's half. It's gone through a lot more (good) pain. And my body just has this way of deciding for me what's next. It's like I have no say whatsoever. I am doing a longer triathlon this year. I am doing another half-marathon in June (YAY, SISTERHOOD, YAY!) and the marathon is next January, which means that when triathlon season is over in October, I have nothing to do! So train for a marathon it is! And if I'm going to be stuck in my own head for 26.2 miles, why not be distracted by things like Mickey Mouse and Nemo and Lightning McQueen and Goofy and Donald Duck (ooh, shiny objects! pretty colors!) Yeah, it doesn't take much for my small mind. And I've heard some chatter from some girls in the Sisterhood about maybe? possibly? joining me next January, so if the marathon is indeed your "Holy Grail" as it is mine, won't you consider joining me? It's supposed to be a magical weekend. And if you don't believe me, read this race report from the Fit Bottomed Girls, who really just sealed the deal for me and completely inspired me. Picture a bunch of us girls piled up in hotel rooms (no one sleeps before a marathon anyway!) getting ready to run a marathon! There is also a half-marathon and a 5k if you don't want to do the full marathon! Just sayin.
So that's the short version of "I maintained." For every bad (like sickness) there's gotta be some good.
That's how I roll.
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Monday
I Think My Cat Needs an Intervention
We're out of wet food.
I don't know how to explain it in "cat" in any other way but to say it to my cat in "human" and then make that "we're out of it and I don't know what to do" gesture (you know, the one where I shrug with my hands up by my shoulders) but we're out of wet food and that's just it. He doesn't understand this.
I'm not selfishly withholding! I'm doing the best I can. Really, cat. I am not the terrible person you think I am.
Because we do, still indeed, have food!! Yes, I realize that it is dry. Oh the horror.
Apparently now you're above that and it's just not good enough anymore. But that's not my fault. You have built yourself some ridiculously high standards. No, you won't be getting that silver platter and crystal cat food dish that you see on those wet cat food commercials (why do those commercial people put these crazy ideas in my cat's head anyway! I should write a letter...)
Yes, I see you strutting by me with your nose stuck up in the air, thinking, "How can you expect me to eat that?" And I see you throwing your body at my feet and trying to trip me when I open the pantry and the fridge. And when you invade my privacy by sticking your paws underneath the bathroom door. I know what you really want. You're not coming to say, "Hello, lovely cat owner!" You've got alterior motives. You're begging for wet food. And I shrug and tell you there is no wet food, but still you don't understand. Or you won't understand. And yes, there is a difference.
The thing is, the more my cat does this, the angrier I get.
He's begging but he already has food!
I feel like he's tugging at my shirt in the candy aisle. I've created a monster! I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that while I was opening that first can of wet food, I was really opening a giant can of worms. (Kind of like I wish "present me" would go back in time and tell me that getting the kids a free cookie at the bakery at the grocery store was a bad idea).
But I can't. Now I have a selfish begging cat (and children who beg for cookies when we pull into the grocery store parking lot).
My cat's attitude about dry food is completely out of control. I think I heard him start calling himself "The Situation."
Now, the drive to have him volunteer at a soup kitchen is overwhelming.
I want him to look outside and see the "have not" kitties and know that he has it real good. Even though I have considered leaving the door open for him a time or two. (He has a little bit of a temper.) But I don't. And we love him still. Sure, maybe he doesn't have wet food today (Oh, woe is me!), but he does have his own separate bathroom, a roof over his head, an abundant supply of (dry) food and water, loving toddler hands to pull his tail pet him and pet him and pet him, and I'm thinking he has it pretty good!
Now how do I explain this in "cat"?
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Mantra Monday: Every Little Bit Counts
Here's the tally whilst sick: my blog energy: fail. My workout energy: fail-ish. (I actually have been getting workouts in, though they're just not as hard as they would be when I'm healthy.) My cleaning energy: big fat fail.
We've had a toy "situation" going on here since Christmas and the house has been in complete disarray for weeks, unorganized, overflowing, borderline pig stye. Seriously.
But somehow, in between illnesses, I manage to find a few fleeting bursts of energy. So far, I've managed to rearrange and trade out all the toys, organize them, rearrange the kids' rooms, and sterilize the house from the spores. It's taking a while, yes. It's all a work in progress. I still have a lot to do. But I'm getting there. It may be short bursts of energy, but they're starting to add up and things are starting to get done. S-L-O-W-L-Y.
So this week, the mantra is Every Little Bit Counts. Even if I have it in me to clean for 5 minutes. That counts.
What's your mantra? Join me on Mondays and link your post up in the comments!
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Friday
Hanging In There
Short and sweet today -- I am about to go on a cleaning frenzy like never before.
So that my house will be like it was before the spores entered it.
Sterilized. Disinfected. The totally aired out, windows open kind. With steam cleaning on the floors and carpets. The whole shabang. Even though I still feel like the crap. But the kids are better and they're in school and I have a window and it is small.
But last night, I spruced up my Wall of Motivation and I posted it over at my SJ Blog, so go take a look at it! And if you haven't joined The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans yet (first, why not!), we are doing a project this week and it's all about the Wall of Motivation, so check it out!
Happy Friday!
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Thursday
Random Posting
A list in no particular order of importance.
It's so cold here in Florida I feel like the alligators are huddled under the water rubbing their tiny alligator arms (but not being able to reach because they're so short) going, "Dang, it's cold out here!"
(Seriously though. What do they do? Are they used to this? I kind of feel bad for them. Kind of.)
I hate Taco Bell's "Drive Thru Diet." I cringe when I see the commercial and it fires me up. It's one thing to offer more nutritious items on the menu. I'm all for that. But don't tell me that eating at the drive thru of Taco Bell is going to make me lose weight. And furthermore, don't tell me that sh*t's healthy. If I must eat there, then there are some healthIER items to choose from. But that's it.
I have a cold. Because why wouldn't I?
And that makes me grumpy and go on rants about things like Taco Bell commercials.
My sister and I were trading Karate Kid quotes on Facebook and I got to thinking how Daniel-san never ages and how I follow Ralph Macchio on Twitter. The other day I knew he was shoveling snow and taking Ibuprofin.
I also follow Darth Vader and R2D2, whose tweets are usually something like, "Beep! Doot Deet!" I always retweet it.
Right now I'm wearing black dress socks with pajamas.
I was grumpy earlier this week so I bought myself some flowers and a bottle of wine. It was like taking myself out on a date. Without the making out.
I need to go to the store desperately because we're running out of everything but I'd rather saw off my arm than go to the store with two sick kids.
My son was singing "10 Little Indians" this morning and I told him he was part Indian and he yelled at me and said, "No! I'm a police man!"
Yesterday, he told me he wanted to be a "motorcycle man" and I told him he could be an astronaut who rode his motorcycle to work and I thought his mind might explode with this information.
He found his whistle shaped as a fighter plane this morning. Hurray!
I need a night of dancing with the girls.
Fun with Google: go there and just type "Why does..." or "Why do..." or "Why does a man " or "Why does a woman" and see what autofinish comes up with. HILARIOUS! I'm so immature. But my husband is more immature-er because he told me to.
I think I just might vlog about how to "frog". You inspired me yesterday in my weigh-in post. (It's an exercise that sends me into total ab failure.)
That's all. Feel free to share randomness and/or wise thoughts here. Otherwise, have a nice day!
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Wednesday
Weigh-In Wednesday: Body Fail and the Frog
This week, I am down one pound. It was kind of a rough week with working out because I was taking care of all the sickies, but I did make sure to eat ok so that it would all be ok when I got back into the gym which was Monday.
Also I learned something about myself. I learned that there is an ab exercise called the "Frog" in which I have complete body fail.
You sit on your butt. You lift your legs and bend your knees and pull them up toward your chest. Meantime, you keep your entire torso off the ground so that your body is sort of shaped like a "V" and you're just balancing on that tiny piece of butt. and then you bring your arms and knees together repeatedly. Which would be great except that I can't even get my body to do the position in the first place! My lower abs are almost non-existent! Thank goodness I took this class! I had no idea they were this weak! I MUST CONQUER THIS THING THEY CALL THE FROG!
If you got a second, try it. I'm going to keep trying. This is why I took that crazy body pump class and why I keep going. Because I went into complete body fail the first week, and then the second week, it was a little better. (Not the Frog, just the class itself. I went into body fail during other parts too, like 1:30 of planks and inverted planks --this lady kicks my rear!) I think I might keep going because I love the weight training/cardio combo and the pain I leave in (I can hardly turn the steering wheel, my arms are so shaky and sore. They're actually still sore.)
I'll just keep repeating Pain is good. Pain is good. Pain is good.
Right?
Happy W-I-W!
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Monday
Mantra Monday: Serenity Now
I'm going to have to go with an old favorite this week, "Serenity Now".
Ya know, the Seinfeld where George was selling computers, competing against the loony Lloyd Brawn and Kramer was on that new "stress regiment" repeating "Serenity Now" (insanity later...)
Well I'm there.
Because everyone in my life has the spores.
And it all started with me. I got the stomach flu. Then both my babies got it. I thought it was over and my house was disinfected, until three family members who came over also got it.
I must have cleaned my house a million times with everything, from Lysol to bleach. The floors, the door knobs, the light switches, the toys... everything. And they still got it.
So back to the drawing board. As you read this, I will likely be cleaning again. And then again later. And again later.
Meantime, make sure you follow rule #1: don't come to my house. Or you will get the spores. I'm just going to go crawl into my hole now. Serenity now.
Have a great week! Don't forget to wash your hands and/or sanitize!
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Sunday
I Am A Sucker
I found myself sitting on my mother's couch this weekend ogling at a new fantastic contraption on yet another tv infomercial and decided something.
I'm a sucker.
I get captivated by these things because they look so wonderful and fantastic and they make it seem to me like I must have this. YESTERDAY!
And when another one of these things pops up on the television, I find myself watching the infomercial from beginning to end. Multiple times. Even if there's something better on. Because we have a dvr.
(In fact, I really should turn this off. But it's still on. Because I must see what else it can do!)
Just so you know, I knew the Magic Bullet Blending System infomercial by heart.
My husband would catch me watching it and I'd flick off the channel and he'd give me that look that says, "I know what you were doing."
It blends guacamole! It makes salsa!! You can make an omelette in 30 seconds! All of these cups are microwavable! You can make frozen drinks for everyone and all the lids are different colors so you will never mix them up!
What I also heard: "If you buy the Magic Bullet Blender, every single day will be a party!!"
My most recent acquisition was this:
The Big Top Cupcake. It makes a cupcake that's 25 times the size of a normal cupcake. It's so ridiculous I had to have it and I got it for Christmas. It.looked.magical. So magical that I can't even remember the actual name is "Big Top Cupcake," I call it the Magic Cupcake thingy. I would stop and watch the commercial where ever I was. I talked of this to my parents. My sister. My husband. All the people who would too eventually get caught up in my infomercial madness.
Because we all now have the Magic Bullet Blending system.
Alas, the Magic Cupcake thingy is only just ok. (I'll save you from yourself if you're like me.) I can't actually get it to look like a cupcake. I made one for Christmas so that we could gather the children around and sing to Jesus for his birthday. And someone crassly referred to my cupcake creation as a 'Jesus nipple.' I know. It's just so wrong there are no words and I'm pretending that by crossing it out, it's like I'm not really saying it. Because I'm sure the person who said it's going straight to hell. They know who they are.
So anyhoo. Back to my infomercial addiction.
Yes I own the Magic Bullet Blending System, even though when I excitedly mention the words "Magic Bullet," people do not initially believe I am speaking of a device that you use in the kitchen. (I do wish they'd change the name.)
But I made the children's babyfood in it, tomato sauce (which has become legendary on my legendary Margherita Pizza), guacamole, mango salsa (there was that one terrible incident when I didn't know you should remove the seeds from the jalapeno first...) Oh the memories. This contraption I still very much use and love. I still have yet to use it at in a party situation for mixed drinks because I am now the person who used to make babyfood and now has less of a need to make mixed drinks (or maybe more reason, depending on how I look at things...)
The Perfect Brownie pan I was initially excited about because it appeared to make a whole bunch of brownies that were all corner brownies! Corner brownies!! I can't believe they make such a thing! I would do anything for a pan that makes all corner brownies! Anything!
There's also that infomercial for the "Your Baby Can Read" thing which looks amazing and I feel like a bad parent every time I watch it because I've forked over money for the Magic Cupcake and the Magic Bullet, but something educational that can better my children? Nah.. (I'm terrible!) In fact, I'm so terrible that while skipping through the channels on one of those mornings where there are only infomercials on, I spotted a device that makes your boobs look fantastic and lifts them and it makes them look like you've had surgery without the surgery! (Did you know size "B"'s can droop after children? I know. Right? It's awful.)
Well we were passing through the commercials (my husband had the remote) and he passed by this thing, I asked him to stop, we watched, we went on and saw the "Your Baby Can Read" thing but I was still stuck on the "boob" thing and said, "We really need that!" and my husband thought I meant the "Your Baby Can Read" thing, which is what I should've meant if I were a good parent, and then he stopped when he realized I didn't mean the educational thing and said, "Oh, you meant the boob thing, didn't you?" And called me out on it. I know. I'm terrible.
I even got stuck watching an entire hour of one of those Time/Life music CD shows all on the classic country because I am secretly captivated by June and Johnny Cash and wanted to see the little snippets the infomercial had on them. And then I got caught up in the other music and briefly believed that I needed this CD series, too. Because you know, it's not available in stores!
But now I have my sights set on this: The Redi-Set-Go.
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Saturday
The Me Project
We link up our projects on Fridays and can I just say, what an amazing experience this has been so far!
If you want to read a little more about the project, click here. And if you want to read my story, click here.
Have a great weekend everyone! If you want to participate, it's never too late! You can still link up your story at the Sisterhood! And yep! There will be a new project on Monday!
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Thursday
Holiday Favorites
We had the funnest holiday this year.
And I know "funnest" isn't a word but I love it anyway.
Some of my favorite things are as follows:
"Santa" comes to visit my parents' house every year and he gets so hot in his suit that his glasses fog up.
I bought my mom a coffee urn for Christmas because she always entertains and either uses a zillion coffee caraffs or uses someone else's coffee urn, when really she should just have her own. Within 5 minutes of using it, it fell off a table and the 40 cups of fresh-brewed coffee spilled onto the floor as well as my 6' 4'' Marine brother-in-law. He's ok. The carpet is not.
My children are currently undergoing "candy detox."
We have a toy "situation" going on over here. Santa did not consider the amount of space in our house when delivering his sleigh-full of toys. In fact, I think there are millions of boys and girls crying because their toys fell out of the sky and into our house. I also think Santa got carried away because he was excited that the kids actually "get" Christmas this year and so Santa was excited to hear about the joy he would bring them. I think I might send a note to Santa about not getting too carried away next year. I'd take a picture of the carnage but I think Santa's ashamed.
Some elves came to visit us this year from Elves From Catie and I just wanted to post the link. It's like Elf on a Shelf except that the kids get to play with these elves and these Elves get into a lot of trouble at night (i.e. toilet papering the living room, making popcorn and having movie night and having snowball fights with marshmallows!) The cost of the elves goes to a good cause, too. It's very cute.
I highly recommend the Elf and Book Bundle, it comes with the letter about how the Elves got finished early and got to go on vacation at your house until Christmas eve. It's really really cool. Our kids had so much fun with our elves and they can't wait till the come back next year!
My youngest gave Santa the stink-eye.
Then he hated the other Santa. There was no other way to describe that. Yet we kept taking pictures. Isn't that terrible?
There were actually lots of other favorites, like the fact that we go get fireworks and shoot them off after dinner every year and there's always at least one scare. This year, a rampant firework flew off into the neighbor's eaves, bounced out and went into a tree. Thank goodness it rained earlier in the day.
I went half the day before I realized I had my pants on backwards.
I'm sure there's more, but I probably should just stop at the pants.
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Wednesday
Weigh-In Wednesday at the Sisterhood
I had a great first week of the New Year. Well, all except for the stomach virus thing we all had. I'm going to pretend that that's NOT how the rest of 2010 will be for me.
Anyhoo, sadly, stomach viruses are always pretty good when it comes to weight loss. I'd like to think that it was because of all the work I did, though. No fast food, my treats were of the Skinny Cow variety, and lots and lots of working out. My hamstrings are still on fire from a Body Pump class I took on Monday night (not to mention the last chance Biggest Loser workout April put us through on Twitter during commercials last night!)
Anyway, grand total: -2.5.
Sweet! I'll take it.
I am sure that some of last week's "cleansing" aided this process, but who am I to scoff?
Go weigh in at The Sisterhood! Then go visit all the sisters, we all need support! Plus who doesn't love a comment?? Happy New Year everyone!
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Tuesday
Well now what do I do.
Well now both of my little mens are in preschool. Today was the day.
My two-year-old had his very first day of "school."
I walked them up to the door where their teacher greeted us and they both took off, without so much as a look back at this old Mommy.
Even the teacher had moved on to the other students who were arriving, so I was just kind of standing there, off to the side, a little perplexed as to what to do now. And I shrugged, laughed along with some of the other parents who noticed it, got into my car and drove away.
So, that's that, huh?
We're there. Two and a half hours A DAY all to ME!
Honestly, the part of this that gives me some time each day to do things by myself is a little exciting. When all of your moments are consumed by at least one little being, while cramming all things into tiny windows of when your children are (hopefully) the best behaved, it's a little daunting to all of a sudden have this window, alone.
But that doesn't seem to help the pit in my stomach that means that time is flying by fast again, so fast that my hair's on fire.
They're growing up.
I still call him the "baby."
Oh who am I kidding, they'll both always be that.
Looks like life is changing again, even if just a tad.
I do still have that big pit in my stomach. But I won't lie. The prospect of driving away and going to Starbucks to stare off into space for 2 1/2 hours doesn't sound half bad.
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Monday
Mantra Monday: I Love Myself
Go ahead, say it! I dare you!
And if you can't, then why not?
OK, I won't lie, it makes me giggle a little too just because I do feel a little bit like Stewart Smalley from SNL, the affirmation guy, you know, the one who says into the mirror, "Because I'm good enough! I'm smart enough! And doggone it, people like me!"
But if 2009 gave me anything, it was the ability to finally love myself. I realized it when I wrote this post about 2010.
Because what I did a lot of in 2009 was chasing.
I had made all these moves in my life trying to climb the corporate ladder, going on trips, trying to find myself and find something that always felt, well, missing. I moved clear across the country. I changed jobs. I ran away from myself. I ran away with myself. Only to get stuck in my own head and in the same place I was before. With something still missing.
Sure, I had a blast and I made great friends and I had a great job, but nothing felt complete. I thought getting married and starting a family would complete me and that all the chasing after happiness would end because the road would lead to my family. But even though I so completely loved my family, still, I was not complete.
So then I freelanced. I blogged. I took pictures. I played softball. I made friends. Took more trips. Wrote some more.
Still not there.
What on earth was this going to take and why can I not find contentment?
And then I went on the journey through weight-loss which turned out to be so much less about weight-loss and so much more about the journey itself, which was chock full of fears of failure, facing demons, and finding strength.
Who knew that facing something so physical would mean facing something so mental?
And that's when it happened. And coincidentally, it's why fad diets don't work. Because fad diets don't allow you the opportunity to face the music; to face obstacle after obstacle, on the way to building your character. Fad diets don't allow you to go through all these challenges, find out that yes you can actually do it, and allow you to revel in your accomplishments!
Every muscle burn, every hurdle, every time you thought you couldn't go on but did, every bit of support from your family, every person who inspired you, every person you inspired, every time you needed to dig deeper, watching your tiny sons run laps around your kitchen because they want to "race like Mommy", all of that builds character.
And it makes you love you.
So go ahead! Say it! Proudly! Just like me and Stuart Smalley!
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Saturday
The End of a Decade
I don't think it was until about 4 days before 2009 where I realized it was the end of a decade. I was just writing it off as another year, but really, it is truly the end of an era! I wonder if we'll have a radio station that plays the 2000's one day.
So when I started reading everyone's recap of the decade, I got to thinking of my own.
Ah, yes. When it turned 2000 and everyone thought we were going to die and all the computers in the world would fail, I was sitting in a newsroom, working, and the guy I was dating at the time was a jackass. There was a countdown, nothing happened, and we left and went home. Ho hum.
That makes me giggle.
So then a couple months later, I got an offer to move New York because they were closing our Florida bureau and my dad told me I wouldn't be able to afford the move and my mom secretly called me and whispered in the phone, "You HAVE to go, this is an opportunity of a lifetime!" And she was so right. I went.
I moved to New York City in 2000, I was 23, I became the manager of my department at a certain cable news channel, and I had the best time of my life. And I dumped that jackass, by the way. I still refuse to friend him on Facebook.
I spent the next new year in Times Square and that was the last new year before September 11th, when New York and our country would forever be changed.
When September 11th came, I spent two hours stuck in a subway underneath Manhattan, with hundreds of other passengers who thought it was just another wretched delay since there is no cell phone signal down there. When I finally got to the city and ran to the newsroom because I knew something was wrong, the first tower was falling and we all stood there in the basement of Rockefellar Center with our mouths open, dumbfounded.Do we continue to work? We do.
The next four months were insane, between work and just how weird and quiet and solemn New York had become. New York was in mourning. I got a last minute plane ticket to fly home for Christmas for $100 roundtrip. Apparently the seats weren't filling.
The next two years I spent living it up, having fun, making 20-something year old mistakes and drinking too much and having a therapist because that was the thing to do at the time.
I left New York for Salt Lake City and a job as a writer for the Associated Press. Before now, I'd have said New York was the best time of my life, but believe it or not, Utah was just as fun. Maybe more. Because I'd learned that I could move to a city where I knew absolutely nothing and no one and do just fine. I made my first friends when I got sick of staying in by myself on a Saturday night, took a cab to a club, stood in line by myself. The bouncer was picking girls out of the line and telling us to come on in and he asked the two girls in front of me if we three were together and they grabbed me by the arm and said, "Yep!" and we went in. I made up some lie about waiting for a friend and I had that friend (who was really in New Jersey) call me and say she wasn't coming. I ended up hanging out with these two girls who would eventually fly to Florida to come to my wedding.
Oh, yes, I just realized I forgot to tell you where my husband fit into all of this! We had met in college, in 1990-something and had broken up 150 times before I finally left Florida (no, he was not The Jackass.) When I went to New York, he went somewhere overseas to live, but we still kept in touch through e-mail. Besides my parents, he was the first to contact me on September 11th.
He came back to the states and visited me in New York and we rekindled things. I kind of knew then that he really was the one, but he wasn't up for talking about that yet and wasn't sure about long distance. I was toying with the idea of moving back to Florida to get my Masters or finding a job somewhere else and I knew that since he wasn't jumping for joy about my coming back that I might as well take that really good job way out across the country. Yeah, that's right. I called his bluff. That was 2003.
In 2004, a year later, he ended my stay out in Utah by proposing on our weekend in Napa. Tricky fella. I really liked that job, too. So I moved back to Florida without a job, which by the way was so unlike me. 2004 was the year my husband lost his father to cancer and I lost my grandfather. It was a very emotional year.
In 2005, four months after I moved back to Florida, we were married. I freelanced for a while, we bought a house, I got pregnant and we had our preemie little boy in 2006.
I stayed home with him and when we celebrated our 2 year anniversary in 2007, I got knocked up again and had a full-term little man that fall! Funny how that works.
2008 I was still trying to figure out who I was as a mother, as a career-woman who no longer was, and I was staying home with both of these little boys. I learned about postpartum depression, I met some wonderful mommies from a preemie mom's group and I grew very, very close with my mother.
That's also the year that picture surfaced of me and I realized that I was on a terrible path toward obesity! My sister had gotten married and I was a huge bridesmaid! Huge! I was crying in dressing rooms, relatives didn't recognize me anymore, oh it was bad. My self-esteem was at an all-time low, my normal social self was now a recluse hiding behind my computer in fat clothes. So I logged onto the computer, found a 5k, did the Couch to 5k, put a question out into bloggyland, "Is anyone up for a Biggest Loser-Blog edition??" (and what do you know! They were!) I had some weight-loss challenges on my blog, I got about halfway there by losing 20-something pounds and celebrated 2009 by training for a half-marathon with my husband. Whew. That was close.
2009 was the year of fitness for me. I joined The Sisterhood. If I were a music artist, this would have been my 'breakout year.' I came out of my comfort zone and challenged myself to run, to do things like swim and bike and even try out a triathlon, and I met the most wonderful bloggers in the world! I came out of my shell, have almost gotten to my maintence weight and I did a lot of soul-searching. I had spent so much time searching for happiness through my work, my marriage, through my children, and when the dust finally settled, I finally found it when I found me. I can't explain it. It probably would have happened sooner if I realized that happiness was within me all along and that moving to New York or Utah wouldn't have changed that. But you learn a thing or two with age.
Which brings me to now.
If I'd have told that 20-something who moved to New York that I'd eventually be a stay at home mom who made her own babyfood, held babyshowers for NICU parents, would do a triathlon, would find peace and relaxation in things like baking and cooking and sewing and making tablescapes and namecards for holidays, I'd have fallen over in my chair.
So I don't know what 2010 holds for me. Or the decade of 2010. At the end of every year, I look back in disbelief at all that's happened or all that I'd made happen. I realized that even though so many things are not in my control, so many other things are. I know I had discovered that early on, but I never really believed that until 2009. So I take that with me into 2010 and hope that it carries me through, whatever 2010 holds in store for me.
In the end, I grew up in the 2000's. I have no regrets.
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Friday
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year everyone!!
So I may be ringing in the new year with a stomach thing, so what?! 2009 rocked. (Besides the stomach thing.)
My wish for you in 2010
That you live with no regrets.
That you smile unabashedly.
That you try new things.
That you see failure as simply, "Getting another shot."
That you succeed because you saw failure as simply, "Getting another shot."
I wish you courage.
And bravery.
And rooms and rooms and rooms full of laughter.
Hugs, love and a good makeout. (Everyone needs those.)
I wish you fearlessness.
And overwhelming happiness.
Many blessings to you and your family for a great 2010!
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