Vlogging is not my forte! But there's a race-day update. If that counts.

Normally this would be a Mantra Monday. But since this is the post-race recap, I'm going to do some preempting. And a little video blogging.

Yes, I was hoping to vlog Friday night. Before the race. But then it turned out to be so much more complicated than that because of course nothing can be that easy. And then I accidentally erased entire parts of the video which I still have no idea how or why. There was some dancing and some pre-race pasta in there, and well, now you get some beginning and some end.

But this was educational for me. Hope you enjoy my cheesyness in all of its Velveeta-ey cheesy goodness.



So. All of that being said.

Wanna know how it really went?

Sigh.

Here we go.

Well, to put it mildly, I had a bit of a rough go at first. The water was cold. It wasn't that cold, but it was cold enough for my body to go, hey, man! What the hell! And then it took me a while to catch my breath with all the flailing and thrashing limbs about, and I may or may not have just bobbed there for a good minute or two thinking about whether or not I was actually going to make it to the bouy way the hell far away from me, that little dot on the horizon from me really, and I even actually did have the thought that I might not even try because it seemed so impossible. And those surfboards were right there, ready to take me away if I wanted them to.

Yes. All the training I have done and I was about to bite it on the swim, that easy. I even had this amazing swim earlier this week, this huge breakthrough swim! And even after all the murk-swimming and facing my fears and all of that, even still, I came thisclose to throwing in the proverbial towel.

I can't describe in words how disappointed I am in myself. How could this happen?

Even my inner monologue was completely turned off. I couldn't even trash-talk myself into moving. I was blank. There were no words in my head for the person who gets stuck in the words in her own head. Nothing.

Eventually I felt my body ready to move forward, but I still didn't even put my head in the water, I swam freestyle with my head on top of the water for most of the swim, just trying to make it to point B. And it took me literally FOR.E.VER. I was watching my watch tick by and the time get longer and longer and finally I got to the end, ran through the sand and into transition, said forget it to my gloves, just threw on my shoes and helmet and took off. I couldn't even believe I had made it out of the water to my bike.

My horrible swim had tired me out so much and I had given myself a target time of an hour and 30 minutes but still I had some serious making up to do and all I could do was pump my legs to start passing people. My mind was still turned off, so I just pushed. I let the adrenaline take over and I pushed through the 10 mile ride as fast as I could, eventually passing people and that felt good, really good, and I started to get choked up because my mind was turning back on and I realized that I was still persevering through this bike and kicking some ass on it, despite my hugely disappointing swim. I was going to finish strong no matter what it took and I felt that.

I got to the end, racked my bike, threw on my fugly shoes and hoofed. Hard. Historically, I haven't been able to run fast after biking or biking and swimming. I haven't been able to pull less than a 36 minute 5k. And this time, I hadn't been able to really catch my breath since the swim but I was booking anyway. Having your age written on your calf was so beneficial to me because I knew when I was passing someone in my age group and I knew when they were passing me. And eventually I got to a pack of people in my age group who kept trying to pass me, we kept going back and forth, but I kicked it into gear and made a big jump ahead and left them in the dust. Yes I did. I don't feel bad either.

I crossed the finish line at 1 hour and 32 minutes. Two minutes past my goal. And with a 32 minute 5k.

Yes, I completely sucked it in the swim. Things go wrong you wouldn't have anticipated. You do things you never thought you'd do. But it's overcoming it that counts. Yes, I did finish 31st out of 45, toward the back of the pack, rather than the middle. But I beat my 5k time. And I met the time goal I had set ahead of time. So I'm still proud. I can't believe I almost gave up but I actually finished anyway. I mean, in going back to that place in my head where I thought it was completely impossible, I mean truly impossible! It was a terrible feeling.

But having figured out how to do it anyway even if it wasn't the way I would have wanted to or in the time I would have wanted to does count for something.

It's all one big fat learning experience and I have a lot to take with me on this one. And since it was the last tri of the season, I have a whole new set of goals ahead of me. I want to run longer. I want to train in heat and colder water so I can be ready for that. I want to tone up some more and add muscle to my upper body. I want to work on my transition times. I want to work on my sucky vlogging (haha!)

Anyhoo. I passed a 74 year old woman and yelled, "YOU'RE AWESOME!" and got choked up because she truly was AWESOME. I hope I am her one day.

Vlogging is not my forte! But there's a race-day update. If that counts.

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/10/vlogging-is-not-my-forte-but-theres.html

Tri-Eve and a pending Vlog

All week I was excited but today my hands are numb and what do you know, I'm actually nervous.

(HANG ON, I'M GOING TO GO OUTSIDE AND SCREAM REAL QUICK!)

(ok. it's out. all better.)

Tomorrow's tri day. The last one of the season. And I'm a party of one.

The husband and kids can't go. There's soccer.

Thankfully, I will be riding with a girl from my tri-group so I won't truly be rolling up on my own and competing on my own and packing up and going home on my own. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when you have all sorts of people cheering other people on it can feel a little lonely to not have someone there cheering you on. But I will have myself! And that does count for something.

In the last one I did, the swim was canceled and I am hopeful that tomorrow the swim will stay on despite my reading that it's stingray mating season and there are a record number of stings this year and note to self about being careful about reading certain message boards before future triathlons.

And I practiced vlogging yesterday (yes, I actually practiced!) so that I can post a vlog today, my very first one! In my practice I have come to find that a certain gray shirt I was wearing yesterday was not flattering for the camera and that I have a good and a marginal side of my face.

All very pertinent research.

Also, I've learned that I look more like a robot when I'm on camera acting like "all business" than when I am acting like myself and somewhat animated. So I will try not to be all business and try to be myself but when that "record" button is pushed, it's like something happens and my animation turns off. I'll try to ignore.

So after I pick out something a little more flattering and make sure I'm looking at the camera on my good side, I'll record and post.

Meantime, I was over at the Sisterhood this week talking about redefining yourself, so please head over and check it out. See you later! Or rather, you'll see me later!

* * *

Ps. Photo Contest going on! Let's get to know each other and our finer moments!! READ: Don't make me feel all alone in putting out my hospital picture to the world!

Tri-Eve and a pending Vlog

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/10/tri-eve-and-pending-vlog.html

Mantra Monday: Open Water Jellies, Er, the "Just Shut up and Do It" Version

What a beautiful morning for a swim.

That's along the causeway, where I've been complaining about, because underneath that calm, serene, gorgeous water that looks like glass, there is mud and muck and seagrass and sealife abound.

And I'm a big ol' wimp.

I was rockin out to some Linkin Park in the car coming over the causeway at 7ish in the morning, gettin all pumped up, and when I got out of the car to go swim, I took this mental picture with me.
Chrissie Wellington, who broke the women's Ironman World Championship record on Saturday in Kona, Hawaii (which kept me glued to my computer and my Twitter for a mere 10 hours).

And she didn't get there by whining about sea grass, that's for sure.

Sure, she swam 2.4 miles, biked 112, and then finished that all off with a marathon. And it's not like I'm doing that any time soon.

Therefore, in comparison, swimming a lame 1/2 mile in some muck made me feel pretty much kind of schmucky for complaining. My inspiration cup seriously overfloweth this weekend.

So I've decided to take the following approach: Just shut up and do it.

Since I'm such a head case, the more I talk in my head (even when I'm trying to talk myself out of something) the more likely I am to completelyutterlyobsess over it. The polar opposite of what it is I'm trying to do. So I tried this other tactic, the justshutupanddoit tactic, along with some helpful reading I have found online, and I, well, just shut up and did it.

And what do you know, it worked. It freakin' worked.

So because it is actually pretty common to fear the unknown lurking below you when you're swimming, there was no shortage of articles and tips on how to NOT freak the hell out, so I figured it couldn't help me to try some.

-Like, for instance, focusing on internal factors, like breathing and stroke, rather than external factors, like animals and living biting stinging organisms the environment and muck.

This helped very much, actually. I focused on my breathing and my stroke, and I kicked a little more wildly than I otherwise would have in an effort to scare off any outsiders. I had a little bit of inner panic going along the way and had to stop, but not like last time. I actually kept going (we swim along the shore to the big bush on the side and then back to where the cars are parked) and I got me through the first leg of the swim. Of which at the end, on my last two strokes or so, I look ahead of me and Wahh! A big ol' jellyfish right in my face, waving hello, right there. I could reach out and touch it. But of course I didn't. That would be crazy. I flailed about a little in a quiet panic and moved out of its way and then we waited for everyone to catch up before we started again (yes! I wasn't last!!) I was sure that by now, the floater had gotten far enough away (I was pretty sure since it was traveling at zero miles an hour, it actually probably was somewhere near me again but since I was in "just shut up and do it mode"I pretended it swam off to greener pastures.)

And then we swam back. On the swim back, I followed behind someone because I figured two people thrashing around together was better than one! And plus, I completely focused on her yellow swimcap. I let the swimcap guide me. Only two people were stung by something on this swim. The funny thing is, no one in my group cares or makes a big deal about anything. It's like eh, whatever. I got stung. So pretty much, if I do the math, something will get me one day. It's a mathematic certainty. But so what. I won't die. So whatever. (Right?)

-Another thing I did. Surround yourself with "the bad guy". I did this by accident. Some people fear the splashing and thrashing about of other swimmers because it makes them skip a breath and go into panic because they can't catch their breath. In this case, it helps if someone goes with you and splashes you in the face while you're swimming so you can get used to it. You let someone be the bad guy. I am actually fine with the thrashing about (it means no sea life will come and get me), but I do fear the floaties in the water, anything that touches me, really, and when it does (mostly grass) I skip a breath and start to panic. Fortunately for me, I got to swim directly through big patches of weeds that were floating in the water in bunches. And the more I did it, the more "at one" I became with things touching me. Amazing stuff.

Moral of the story? Whatever you're afraid of, completely immerse yourself in it.

So how much is it costing me $35 to tackle my fear of swimming among the murk with the jellies in the open water, you ask?

A mere 35 bucks. That's the cost of my trigroup membership.

Totally worth it.

Here's a little more of the shore. It's not a beach, it's along a causeway and people stand in the water and fish or they kayak here.



If you look really closely, there is some sort of fish or something going back below the surface. Yes, there's sea life in there, it's the sea. So just shut up and swim. Sorry. Talking to myself again.

After the swim, we biked and I realized why they like to swim here.

Because the bike is freakin fanastic.

It's on somewhat normally busy roads but traffic is light on Sunday morning, and there is a luxurious bike lane and the scenery is gorgeous! I complain about living in Florida (the heat, my God the heat!) but today was a day that I basked in it. It.was.GORGEOUS. Period.

After the run and bike, I was on top of the world.

* * *

What's your mantra this week??? I'm convinced that setting yourself up for the week ahead sets the tone of my week. Wanna join me? Link up your mantra in the comments!

Mantra Monday: Open Water Jellies, Er, the "Just Shut up and Do It" Version

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/10/mantra-monday-open-water-jellies-er.html

Mantra Monday: Brave Talk. And ps. I Didn't Get Eaten By Sharks

I was a little worried about open water swimming on Sunday but I am alive even though the water was, indeed, very murky (gag!) and there was a jellyfish incident.

I know, I know, calling it open water swimming for starters sounds just a little scarier than what it actually is, which is swimming in the ocean, and bajillions of people do that every day. The words open water just sound so ominous, like it's, perhaps, open season for eating swimmers. That's just where my mind goes.

I have issues.

So I met my tri-group for some open water swimming and murky wasn't the word.

I might have chosen, disgusting. Or heeby jeeby. Or oh, hell no!

And I really tried not to be a baby about it, I really did. But having to walk through knee-deep sea grass and sliding along in the slippery disgusting mud and not being able to see what your walking on or through still makes me want to gag. But I did it anyway in the name of bravery. Which will become a recurring theme throughout this venture by the way.

And there were more girls than guys by the way.

I just want to say for disclaimer purposes that this area that we swam in is a very popular recreation area. There are sidewalks/running paths up and down the causeway, there is a kayak rental shop right where we were, people were fishing, pretty much the area was already bustling when I showed up at 7:20.

So back to the wading out in the grass.

We walked out to where we were going to swim which was water about waist-deep, just over the grass really and my hands hit it when I swam. My first thoughts were something along the lines of THISISSODISGUSTINGICAN'TBELIEVEI'MDOINGTHIS.

But one must try and remain calm so one can breathe properly.

Because if they can't breathe because of say, panic, then one cannot swim, and one must keep stopping. Over and over and over again. And the leader of the group might be walking along with this one person for a little while until they get their bearings.

That one might've been me. Might've not. I'm just saying.

If I wasn't so freaking freaked out, I might have enjoyed the large round fish with vivid colors that passed underneath me (every time I tell the story, somehow the fish gets bigger in my head), or the spiny-looking grass that snorklers might find charming. But I was pretty much freaked out and really just trying to get through it until the one bush that marked our 1/4 mile.

Then I swam hard to the end. Then realized that was just halfway.

One girl got out and started to walk back. So I had the option. But then I started getting all stubborn on myself like I do and started fighting with myself in my head. And because I was so disappointed in my ridiculous performance while the other swimmers were just swimming along like LA LA LA! I decided I'd buck up and swim back. My head was screaming no, but there was some other voice yelling at me saying, "It's just GRASS! You're actually afraid of the grass? Because there are no sharks swimming in this grass, that's for sure. So you're actually JUST AFRAID OF GRASS." And I thought, what would I tell my kids? I was afraid of grass? Wouldn't I tell them the same thing, that it's just grass and get over it? Yes I would. Would I want them to know that mommy couldn't be brave and swim over some damn grass? No.

So then I swam. And I hardly stopped. I kept up. And we were almost to the end when the leader of the group screamed.

Because he got stung by a jellyfish.

I will say that if that'd been me, this story would have turned out much differently. I might not be returning to the water. I might be scarred for life.

I am not wishing the jellyfish on anyone. I am just saying, for my first time out in that disgusting water, that would have been the icing on the cake and I would have thrown in the towel. After I used it first. Or maybe I would have had another brave talk with myself.

* * *
On Mantra Monday, I set myself up for the week with motivation. Wanna join me? What's your mantra? Link it up!

Mantra Monday: Brave Talk. And ps. I Didn't Get Eaten By Sharks

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/09/mantra-monday-brave-talk-and-ps-i-didnt.html

Phobias

I'm over here at the Sisterhood today talking about my phobia of Open Water Swimming. And I capitalize it because it scares me.

I am psyching myself up for a swim in murky ocean water. It's almost midnight and I'm swimming at 7:30.

And yes, someone has actually referred to this water as murky.

It better not rain or all this stress will be for nothing.

Phobias

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/09/phobias.html

Weigh-In Wednesday

Good morning, sisters!

I have zero change to report this week.

I went away for the weekend for a girls beach weekend, but I didn't slack off. No siree. One of the girls I was with was my sister-in-law who is a fitness freak (I should post the picture I took of her bicep here) and she put us through a Cross Fit workout on the beach, which felt good at the time and I was even able to keep up, but literally for two days after my ab muscles felt like they were peeling apart. They are just now starting to feel like maybe, just maybe, I can eek out a couple crunches. Maybe.

I also got in a two mile run and some open-water swimming which taught me that maybe I have some more work to do in the swim portion of the swim-bike-run. It wasn't all bad, I have just always kind of just waded in the ocean prior to this, so swimming with goggles on and being able to see everything under me kind of just freaked me out. I kept expecting to see some large shadow under me with intentions of eating me. I will feel much better on race day when swimming in the ocean consists of just trying not to get kicked in the face because I am quite sure no big shadows are going to wanna be around all that splashing.

Monday I got in a pool swim and Tuesday I did my first "brick" workout which pits two tri workouts back to back to get your body accustomed to what it would be like in the race. For me, it was biking (spin class) immediately followed by running a quick mile so that my legs can get accustomed to going from bike to run. Besides almost puking (I am on a streak of never puking during a workout or a race and I intend to keep it that way!) the whole rest of my body felt good. So I am almost excited!

I am a little annoyed that there has been no change in my weight this week because I feel like my body has been through the wringer. But I feel more hardcore now than ever because I have only six weeks left to train. I am trying to completely submerge myself in it and concentrate. I don't even just want to "get in" the workouts anymore, every time I go I want to push myself as hard as I can. Every time I do this and see what I am capable of, it pushes me more. I thought running a mile after spinning for 45 minutes until my legs were on fire was going to be hard, but I did it and it felt good! Mini-breakthrough for me! I need more of this in my life and it is quickly becoming an addiction!

I hope over the next week my body will start to melt away the excess. One can only hope.

Weigh-In Wednesday

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/05/weigh-in-wednesday.html

Sure, I'll Tri Anything!

So as I am on sitting in front of the computer after having finished the half-marathon, on day two of no.goal.whatsoever, I'm am feeling all post-run-ey. And sad. Like a fat, lump of heap of something, (I know it's only been two days, but still...) but it's easy to get depressed without a goal! And all I have been doing is scouring the internet for my new goal. Something non-marathoney but equally as challenging. Because it's like a sickness. I am addicted to goalsetting and goalreaching. I need something. Ineedmynextfix. And I NEED.IT.NOW.!!

Can you feel the anxiousness pouring out of my keyboard!?

It's Killing me!

Whilst finding my next adventure and feeling this cool, yet burning sensation (kind of like a Peppermint Patty) in my gut, that kind of fire that seems to have remained lit after having gone through a year of goal stairclimbing, I found it. A goal so perfect it appears to have my name written alllllllll over it.

The Morton Plant Mease Triathlon. At beautiful Sand Key park near Clearwater Beach. At 6:50 in the morning on July 12.

Running. Biking. Swimming. A giant gaggle of goggles, swimcaps, spandex and a bathing suits. I do not ask myself why. I ask myself why not.

A triathlon! (I can do this. Right?) And it's official. I am officially signed up. This summer, I will have black marker written on my leg and will be wearing spandex and a bathing suit and goggles and a swim cap. There is no question about it.

So now I am all excited about said goal and am getting prepared by acquiring all tools necessary to train for said goal. And where do I start?

With the bathing suits, of course.

Because why wouldn't I.

I am considerably smaller than this time last year, how bad could it be? I am excited, even! I may even *cough* like bathing suit shopping! For once!

So I go to Sports Authority to pick out a new, fully functional, bathing suit for the purpose of sport (because I've never purchased a functional bathing suit before, only a beachy one and usually in a size "ginormous" in which I usually think afterward, "Why bother? There's less material in a full pantsuit...") But this year, it's different, right? I've lost a bunch of weight, things have to look better! And I get all excited because the bathing suits are on sale in lots of brands and lots of very fun, competitive, racing colors and I can literally see myself zipping through the water like Dara Torres. Running on the beach toward the water like a true competitor!

That is, of course, until I actually try one on.

Did you know they're actually a lot tighter than normal bathing suits?

I guess it has something to do with physics or aerodynamics or something, but the amount of spillover that my body had in conjunction with the bathing suit I tried on would, I am sure, completely counteract the aerodynamic-ness of that particular bathing suit.

Did you also know that the cuts on said bathing suits are not very flattering?

I figured this out pretty quickly, too. It was like the perfect storm. My pasty-white-fresh-out-of-winter skin, the harsh glare of the florescent lights, coupled with the dimples that haven't quite made it off the lower half of my body like I had previously thought and the tightness of the spandex in some strategically unflattering spots -- well, let's just say there's nothing like trying on bathing suits to knock someone down a few pegs.

Riding that high of finishing a half-marathon must've swelled my head a little. Because that little scene in the dressing room was, how do you say, NOT GOOD.

So here's where I try to stay focused on the fact that regardless of how said bathing suits looked on me during this horrifying dressing room session, I will be "cup half-full girl" and counteract the negatives with the positives.
Positive: I completed a half marathon. (Woot!)
Negative: It took more than 2 hours and 30 minutes. A marathoner passed me.
Postive: But I finished! And I even passed some dudes!
Negative: I still look hideous in a bathing suit.
Positive: Even more reason to do a triathlon!

See? So we'll end on the positive here.

And yes, in the end, I made the purchase. A lovely black and blue number that is reversible (how cool is that! Black on one side, blue on the other -- depending on my mood!) I would venture to say that it was in quite a larger size than my normal clothing size, but whatever, it was the least damaging to the corneas of onlookers. (Another positive! I'm on a roll!)

The training for said event begins for me next week, where I will begin a program we found on a website called Tri-Newbies. And I will happily plunge my body and bathing suit into the water at my gym. I haven't swam (swum?) in a while, so we'll see how that goes, (do I remember how? How hard could this be??) But I am sure that I will keep you updated (whether you like it or not).

Now, to get a bike...

Sure, I'll Tri Anything!

https://babytealeaves.blogspot.com/2009/03/sure-ill-tri-anything.html